Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

You’re not writing me any poems… you’ve barely added any love songs to your list… what’s going on?

(Sigh) I think… I’m too wound up from work and classes…

Wound up? Didn’t you go have fun with friends last night?

Yes and no… like it was good to get out of the house — makes me feel like a normal human — like yes I should go and socialize… but honestly I probably would’ve had more fun just staying home and playing Sims… I don’t regret going out — but — it doesn’t put me in the mood…

What mood?

You know… the mood to think about us… visualize about us… in a more romantic way…

Oh? It doesn’t?

(Shaking head) Not at all… it’s like I still have conversations I had with those friends lingering in my mind. My subconscious? My brain is still trying to processes all the things that were said… even though I had slightly better sleep last night — I think I dreamed a lot — it’s like my mind still hasn’t finished processing anything. I wake up suddenly, scroll through Instagram — okay, you have new vlogs — but still — it’s your characters, it’s not you…

I feel like I’m wading through all these muddy subconscious thoughts… — The love feeling for you is there — it is a steady stream in the background — but the passion, the trigger for that passion — I can’t find it right now…

Plus, I’ve been photoshopping…

Photoshopping?

Yes — not literally with the app Photoshop, but that word is used like a verb now for photo editing… I’ve been adjusting some photos of your characters to change them into Nude Face and I have an album in my phone for Nude Face and sometimes I just look at those photos as the closest thing that I have to remembering…

Remembering what? Me without contouring?!?!

(Chuckles) Yeah… sort of… like… I’m just sitting with what I’m looking at… THAT BIG NOSE… in those photos… (Giggles)…

It doesn’t make you feel sexy? (Burying head in his hands) You DON’T LIKE nude face — as much as you say you do — it’s just the IDEA of nude face — you’re not attracted to nude face! You’ve never even kissed nude face!!! You don’t like him — you don’t like the REAL ME.

That’s is 100% NOT TRUE. It’s your own insecurities. THAT’S NOT TRUE. Even for a fictional blog. THAT IS NOT MY TRUTH.

How is it not your truth?

I’ve met Nude Face — I have ALWAYS felt attracted to Nude Face — IN REAL LIFE. Maybe I didn’t act on it — those circumstances didn’t allow for it, in my opinion — but yes I’ve met NUDE FACE — I remember!!!

You liked him?

Yes!!! I don’t think this is even the first time I’ve written about it. Of course!!! I LIKE NUDE FACE. I LOVE NUDE FACE…

But you’re going through a dry spell…

It’s like… my physical body… is waiting to feel… “inspired” — and it hasn’t gotten there yet… it’s not exactly a “rut” — you know how some couples after a while it’s like, “Are we in a rut?! Are we getting bored of each other?” — No, I don’t feel it is that… but it’s more like… I feel like a little hamster running on a hamster wheel — work, class, house chores, friends — all of that are things that I am juggling and my nervous system is in survival mode… it’s not able to shift and be in “love making” visualisations or writing love poetry… I don’t know if — there’s any way — to pierce through it…

I’m waiting for YOUR CHARACTERS — if not you, if not nude face — to pierce through it… the vlog — some moments, it’s gotten close — but it’s not there yet…

How could Nude Face pierce through it?! He’s not even attractive — by general standards. Nobody’s attracted to Nude Face when they see him.

You’re just projecting. NUDE FACE IS FUCKIN’ HOT. Stop that. Stop self-deprecating.

But why is it even important to you to visualise anything romantic with Nude Face? I’m not coming to date you as Nude Face — at least, not initially… I feel way more confident coming towards you as a variation of the characters and my authentic self…

(Sigh) But… I’d rather meet Nude Face…

You would?

(Nodding) Yes… because… I’ve met that guy — the variation of the characters and the authentic you — I know who he is… even with the new contouring, and I’m not sure if you got veneers?! Whatever it is — all that makeup, contact lenses — hair colours — whatever, I’m not that intrigued… I mean — sure, yes, there is attraction — always… but… I want to meet Nude Face. I will still feel reserved and guarded when there is any semblance of the public characters — they’re almost like caricatures.

So you mean — if I come towards you as my “caricature” — you’re not going to feel impressed?

It’s not about feeling impressed. Of course, I’m still going to welcome it… but there’s still going to be, say, 20% of me that is feeling reserved. Because 20% at the back of my mind I’m thinking, “Where is Nude Face? When do I get to meet Nude Face?” I want to see him. I want to know him… I want to… I really want to make love to Nude Face.

You do?!!??!!?!?

YESSSSS!!! WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO DIGEST?!?!?!

It’s… it’s hard to digest… actually, yes it’s hard to digest… I don’t think I’ll get there. I’m not coming towards you with Nude Face.

Okay but then also just know that there’s that 20% at the back of my mind when we’re interacting, initially…

20%?

Yes — if you want to quantify it — I’m gonna say it’s around about 20%…

…

Did you at least receive the gifts I sent?

Yes — I got them. Thank you. They were very sweet.

Only sweet? Not arousing?

(Chuckles) Not exactly… but yes they were sweet…

Why not arousing?

(LOL)… just the format… it’s not arousing, but it’s sweet…

Oh I see…

What would be more arousing? Even when you’re busy with work and classes and not even one day free — how do I get you — in the zone — on a random evening?

(Chuckles) Why don’t we just go to the beach?

The beach?

Yeah… get some wind in our hair… listen to the ocean waves… ocean wave sounds, that’s definitely more calming…

Oh… ocean wave sounds…

Yes… how lovely…

No confined spaces. No loud music. No crowds to the point where you have to SHOUT to each other to have a conversation…?

Definitely not. Please… I don’t want that even for a friends hang out — it’s over-stimulating. I can’t hear myself think. I feel like I’m hurting my LUNGS trying to SHOUT at everybody…

Okay… noted…

It doesn’t even have to be a huge group of friends — that’s always a little too chaotic… just a handful of friends, even if we don’t go to the beach — a quiet lounge bar? Maybe a JAZZ bar?! I keep suggesting jazz but that is like an umbrella term for anything more acoustic? Bossa nova? Anything more chillaxing…

Chillax lounge… that’s what you mean…

YES… chillax lounge… that makes way more sense to me… dim lighting is fine. I don’t care about that… but I need.. ventilation…?

Ventilation?

Yes — either it’s nicely air-conditioned or there is enough of a breeze that any smoke from smokers or vapers doesn’t get anywhere NEAR ME…

Oh… you don’t like cigarette smoke or vape…

I don’t mind vape as much as I have an aversion to cigarettes… yeah… it makes me cringe — I don’t like sitting there with friends pretending to be okay with it. I’m actually NOT okay with it.

Oh… I see… but then… you also wanted to smoke cigars for your hen’s night?

(LOL) — I just wanted to POSE with one — I don’t think my lungs could handle real cigars…

Oh… okay… so it’s about protecting your lungs…

Yes — shouldn’t it be like that for you too?!! Lungs are IMPORTANT!

(Nodding) Okay…

(Nodding)

Well… what else do you like? You like fine dining?

I don’t mind fine dining… yes… It’s usually in a more quiet atmosphere… there’s usually less crowds… there’s usually soft, background music… and the food — usually — is prepared exquisitely… yes, sure, I could get used to fine dining… especially with date nights, yes… fine dining…

What… types of… fine dining?

I don’t know… I’m actually not that much of a food… aficionado?! It’s not like I could talk about it like a food critic — it’s just a vibe… sometimes I just come across Reels or Tik Toks and I think, “Oooh… that looks nice!” — maybe it’s not even categorised as fine dining? I’m not sure… (shrugs shoulders)

I’m just trying to picture some scenarios — say you had a really, really SHIT day at work — the worst customers, maybe even some misunderstandings with co-workers, and — for whatever reason — your comfy shoes weren’t even comfy anymore, you didn’t have compression socks on and your feet hurt; you’re hungry, you’re grumpy — your biggest temptation is to go home and sleep — but then I appear. Okay, I’m not Nude Face — don’t get too excited about that concept — but I’ve appeared. I’m me. Common Name. Yes, I look a little bit like my characters but I’m also slightly incognito so that I don’t get bothered by others — I’m sort of my characters but I’m mostly Common Name Incognito…

Uhuh…

Then what? How do I impress you? How do I sweep you off your feet in that scenario? What would be MORE enticing than simply going home to chill on your own and sleep?

(Chuckles) Hmm… let me think… umm… are we staying on Gold Coast in this scenario?

(Head tilting) Was there ever an option to go to Brisbane?

Well — this depends. Did I have a morning shift or a late shift?

What’s gonna be the difference?

If I had a morning shift, and you appeared, say at like, 11:00 am when my clock-off is at 12:00 pm — but you want to take me to dinner in BRISBANE? (Slightly nodding…) Like — that’s possible. I could go home, shower, take a nap, and then… feel more refreshed for an evening in Brisbane…

Oh?

Yeah — like it wouldn’t even matter if I had another 7:00 am start the next day, I think I would just push through it. Of course YOU and your mere presence — are and is — already enticing…

Uhuh…? And… if it’s a late shift?

Late shift then we just stay around Gold Coast… unless… (suddenly remembering)…

Unless what?

Well — Let me google this first…

(Waiting… twiddling his thumbs…. what is she googling?!)

Oh… I can’t find it… even with google…

What can’t you find?

Well — there used to be a 24-hour yum cha… on South Side — Brisbane — my past co-workers and I used to go there, when I worked in Brisbane… but… I can’t find it on google!!! I know exactly how to drive there — but I can’t find the place on google right now! I don’t know if they closed since the Pandemic or if they never bothered to advertise it as 24-hours on google!?!?!? When we got there, it wasn’t advertised — we only knew because another co-worker friend KNEW about it…

Oooh… so it’s like a secret 24-hour yum cha place?!?!?!

(Giggles) Yes… sort of… but it wasn’t crowded… There were other customers — obviously some people know about it — but we only knew because that co-worker friend knew about it and whenever we used to rock up after late shifts at that old work, they’d be open and we’d be having yum cha until very late!

Interesting… what about MacDonald’s? Do you just want to go to 24-hour MacDonald’s?

(Smiling… shaking her head…)

No? Not arousing?

(Chuckles)… Do YOU REALLY THINK that 24-hour MacDonalds could be… AROUSING?!?!! (Laughing)

Well… I’m sure some of my FANS would feel just as happy and GRATEFUL if I showed up as my characters and took them to a 24-hour McDonalds?!?!?!

(Laughing) Okay?!?! I guess?!?!! To be honest — if it was Nude Face — yes.

NUDE FACE?!?!?! STOP BRINING UP NUDE FACE! THAT’S NOT HAPPENING.

See??!?! You see?!?! I want to LOVE YOU JUST AS YOU ARE — you’re the only one standing in your own way!

Okay we’ll go fine dining or 24-hour yum cha… how long does it take to drive there?

Honestly I really don’t know if, since the pandemic, they are even open… maybe they’ve closed down for good? I just don’t know these facts right now…

Well then we can just go for a drive… we can DRIVE-THRU a 24-hour MacDonalds to get SOME food — a light snack — and then go see if the 24-hour Yum Cha is actually opened!

(Chuckles)

Do they serve alcohol? The 24-hour Yum Cha?

I think so? I think that’s the point of a 24-hour open?

Oh… I see…

Otherwise how would they make any money?

Right… okay…

Anyway — going for a drive is nice — I would’ve also said walk but my feet will be tired after work so I wouldn’t want to walk too far — but yes, movement… I like that… if I’ve had a long and shit day at work — you pick me up — from home — like I can still go home and shower and get changed — and then we go for a drive — you pick a nice, chill playlist…

Or a SEXY playlist?

(Chuckles) Okay, sure, chill but sexy playlist… get me more… in the mood… forget about work, forget about all those people, forget about anything else… just me and you… that’ll be nice…

It would be? (Smiles)

Yes… of course… my darling… (singing Jack Johnson) “It’s always better when we’re together…”

(Smiles)

Are you good at… driving with one hand? And then you can like, hold my other hand?

I don’t need to — I’ve got a Tesla. It’s self-driving.

WHAT??!!? YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ELON MUSK. (Angry pouty face!!!)

(Shocked) Really?! You dislike Elon Musk that much that you don’t even want me to drive a Tesla?!

Are there not any OTHER self-driving car brands?!?!?!!

(LOL) Yeah there are… it’s just easier to say Tesla but the real car will be a different brand…

Okay… phew… yes, thanks… I’d prefer if you don’t actually drive a Tesla — otherwise I’m gonna spend the whole drive telling you WHY I DON’T LIKE ELON MUSK AND GRIMES WAS THE BEST GIRLFRIEND HE EVER HAD AND HE FUMBLED HER — HE’S AN IDIOT!!!

(LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)

I don’t like Elon Musk… I USED TO LIKE HIM — during his Grimes era — Grimes was the best thing about him — then he changed… he turned into such a Villain when him and Grimes broke up… it feels like it’s been a downward spiral since then…

You really think she was good for him?

(Nodding)… 1000% YES. — But — it seems like — he really made it now that there’s no way for them to get back…

Why is that?

Too much legal stuff now with the custody of the kids and all that — I don’t even know the details, I didn’t click into all those articles… but it just seems like… it’s too much… I don’t know the details but if I was Grimes, I probably wouldn’t ever take him back either…

Why?

When you involve COURT CASES — there’s no turning back from that… unfortunately…

Oh… so court cases is where you draw the line…

Yes, I suppose so… I mean, online gossip, online rumours — that’s annoying — but it’s not legal stuff… court cases involving lawyers and judges and maybe even sometimes a jury — ugh, no… there’s no turning back from court cases… you’re really done-done. You’re relationship is DONE.

(Nodding) Good thing… we never got to that point…

I don’t think we ever will… it’s not us…

No, it’s really not. (Smiles)

I love you!!! My Hunny Bunny!!! (Big squeeze and cuddle)

(Kissing back)… (“I love you too” implied)…

xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxx