So, now you know the difference between when I’m acting and when I’m being sincere?
Yes… I think so… I will know more, for sure, in real life, as we spend more time together again…
If I’m crying, in real life, was that acting or sincere?
I can’t imagine it right now. But I can tell you what I know. I know the feeling in my heart when you look into my eyes in real life. Whether that was Mr Incognito, whether that was Anu, or even Blonde Dude or trainwreck — it’s always the same.
There is a warmth, a flush. A rush of expansion. It’s not a feeling in the groin, it’s a feeling in my heart. That’s how I know it’s love, not lust.
And you didn’t notice this back then?
I’m not sure… I think I wanted to tell you, but then a friend stopped me…
The friend who gives the worst advice.
In hindsight, yes… also, perhaps… I just didn’t know what I was feeling. I was still, relatively, inexperienced.
…
Do you remember those moments? When I recreate them in a little video story?
I’m remembering… yes… as it pops up on my feed… I’m like, “Huh… oh yeah… that happened…”
And?
And… it’s still very… distant… the memories are still… opaque… they’re not that clear, yet. They seem… they seem like they should be true. And it’s like my body is telling me, “It is true. It is true.”
But I don’t dare to… really believe it all… just yet…
You forgot you told a lot to some mutual friends.
LOL… I did?
Yes.
That’s how I knew.
Really?! Wow… okay…
The rice balls. Onigiri.
Yeah…
Do you remember?
Maybe…
What do you mean, “maybe” — ?! You either remember it, or you don’t.
No, that’s not true… it’s a maybe…
WHAT?!?!?! (Shaking his head)
I’m not sure if it’s happened more than once for me… with someone else…
(Eye rolling, saying melodically) Here we go again… (Smiles)
Don’t you think, these are also like — middle schooler’s memories? These little moments?
Yes. It’s sweet. I liked it when I heard it told by the mutual friends. And I wanted to portray it as a sort of innocent, puppy love. It’s sweet, it’s innocent. It is really wholesome love for middle schoolers. It was easy to write that script. You’re still the muse. Even if you don’t fully remember the exact moment that it happened for us.
No. My body remembers. There was a giddyness.
Oh? A giddyness?
Yes. Your hands…
…
I remember the crying now.
You do?
Yes.
Was it sincere?
Yes.
Was it like how it is on stage?
No. Not at all…
So there’s a difference.
Yes. 1000%.
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 