Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

Baby I’m scarred for life…

Why?

Your mother-in-law…

What happened this time?

She’s doing qigong but it sounds like she’s having sex…

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It’s not funny!!!! 😣😣😣

Why do I have to live with this?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

Awww babe… u need some music? Headphones? 🎧

I need to move out.

To our place.

Yes… it’s happening soon…

When?!?!! 😭

I just have one serious question…

What question?

Will you be okay living with me even if we’re not legally married?

Yes.

😳 really?

Yes.

It’s not that I don’t want to. If I wasn’t this famous I absolutely would want to.

I know. You’re protecting me.

Well… I just don’t want people to try looking up marriage registrations…

That’s fine.

I mean, eventually, when I’m fully retired… not just semi-retired, I still want to.

It’s okay. I get it.

So we’re living together… I’ll the buy the apartment for you in your name.

Oh no, don’t do that…

No?

What if I can’t afford the body corporate fees?!?!?!?!!

Oh…

Okay so it’s still my apartment. 

Uhuh…

If your fans managed to stalk you then I’m just a housekeeper.

They’re not going to.

How do you know for sure?

The stalkers have outgrown us. We’re too old for them now. They’re stalking Cortis, not us.

Oh… those poor boys…

U don’t want the apartment in your name?

Can we not have it in both our names without being married?

Mmmmm… 

I will feel more comfortable having it in your name only. Since you are a private citizen.

How am I paying for the body corporate?!

Of course I’ll pay for it.

Why don’t you want it in your name?

I don’t want fans or journalists trying to look this up. They could use AI to scrape real estate registrations too right? They will try to find what properties are in my name.

Oh… true…

Currently there are none. But I might buy an “Architectural Digest” showing off place in my mother’s name… and they’ll see Fernando’s Mum and cousins walk in and out of that place. Basically I’ll give it to them as a holiday home. And they can help me with the decoys when I’m spending time with you.

Oh… … …

R u ok with that?

Sure but… how many other girls do u have these decoys with… 👀

None!!! 🤣 omg… it’s so much effort just trying to squeeze in time with you!

Uhuh… I believe you…

Do u think ur parents will understand??

It doesn’t matter what they think. I don’t need their permission for anything. I’m in my 40s!!!

Yeah… 😅

Are we bringing doggy?

Of course!

I don’t really want to tho…

U don’t?

No. Sigh. What if I move in after doggy passes away?

How soon will that be?

I don’t know… 🥴 he’s 18 years old…

Do u feel more comfortable moving in after he passes?

It feels like… the next chapter of my life…

What about your mother?

I have no idea…

Is she still making the noises? 😅

No. Thank God. The qigong exercise doesn’t last that long…

I think if I was doing some martial arts warm ups it will sound like sex grunts too… 🤣

Yeah cos ur moving the energy…

Maybe her chakras need to be unblocked. She’s been frigid her whole life. I don’t even know how she had sex with my Dad and had me and my brother, u know?!

Hahahahaa… this really is TMI babe… 😅

Yeah.

Anyway…

Mmmm… ur getting ready for ur day…?

I miss you…

I think about making love to you every day… I just don’t write about it like I used to…

I think about that too… 🥰💕

We need a fish bowl in our bedroom.

Fish bowl?

A clear glass bowl.

And we put our phones in that bowl. On airplane mode.

Ahhhh… okay… 🥰💕

I won’t even have a phone. I’ll leave my phone in another hotel room then come see you on foot.

Lol I don’t know if it has to be that extreme…

I don’t want people tracking my phone.

You’re being paranoid! U just said the stalkers moved on to Cortis, why would they be tracking your phone?!

Okay ur right. Sorry. Just a habit.

I’m easing into semi-retirement… I forget it’s less intense… the stalkers are fading away… 😅

I think for now, while the doggy is still alive… why don’t you rent a serviced apartment when you come visit. Get your manager to rent it. Or your older brother. I don’t really care.

Hmmmm… where?

The Langham? Do they do short stay serviced apartments?

Do they?

Lemme ask hang on…

Yes.

Okay. You like the Langham?

Well allegedly that’s where Harry Styles stayed when he was touring Gold Coast last time… allegedly. Allegedly. According to internet sleuths.

Hahahahahaa 🤣

And yeah it seems pretty nice?

Mmmm… I’ll organise it.

We can try it and if we like it then you buy it.

Ooh yes… okay… 😍❤️

😘😘😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️