Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

What is this? What’s happening?

(In a French accent)…

I am planning my new disguise, mon Cherie.

Hahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣

With brown curly hair and a goatee?!?!?!

Oui, oui! Do you like it? 😈❤️🔥

(Giggles) 🤭💕

Well… you don’t look like Fernando anymore, that’s for sure…

Excellent… that’s what we want… 😎

Did you put on…. a darker shade tan as well?

Oui oui my love. I am just that kind of Australian holidaying French person who spent a lot of time at the beach and got a tan. Stopped shaving. Messy beach hair… loving Australia! Chillaxing…

You look like you’ve styled yourself in between an Eshay and a hipster…

Well I am French! And a Millennial… I work for a big tech company and I can work anywhere so I chose Australia for the time being.

Now I just walked into your store looking for some Men’s clothes… and wow… 😍… I am mesmerised by your beauty. I must find out your name! And your number. I must take you to the French café on a date!

Hahahahahahhahaha 🤭💕

Are you feeling… how to say… “swept” off your feet?

(Nodding and smiling)… yes… 🥰💕

Are you feeling worried that I’ll be spotted by my fans?

(Shaking her head) no… you look nothing like Fernando with this French persona. And even if people were at the tables next to us with clear Fernando merch on their backpacks, you would just seem like a random French tourist who hangs out here all the time.

Your accent is so real, how do you mimic it like that?!?!

Felix isn’t the only celebrity who speaks French!!! 😤😤😤

Lol… and what is your name?

Gerard…

Gerard?!

Is that okay? Is it sexy enough?

Mmmm… well it reminds me of that actor Gerard… bla bla bla… I can’t pronounce his last name. It’s fine. I’m not triggered or anything by the name Gerard…

So I am Gerard.

You can call me Gerard.

We will introduce me to your friends and anyone out in public as Gerard.

Oh gosh… okay…

But do you really have to work for a tech company?

What else could I be doing?

I don’t know either.

Fine. It doesn’t really matter. I doubt we will have those conversations.

Yes we will. When we’re out in public.

Ummm… okay my love…

Je t’aime mon bébé…

Hahahhahahahahahaa… 🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕