Babe… I’m exhausted…
Awww…. what’s happened?!
I feel like I’m living with someone with ADHD…
Oh?!?!?! Your mother has ADHD?!?!?!
No… but sometimes… her mind jumps from topic to topic…
Ooops…. (thinking about his own ADHD-like tendencies)……. 😐
Yeah, I don’t know… I need to find a way to cope with this… I haven’t figured this out yet…
What’s most troubling?!
I… don’t jump like that in my mind… and it takes mental energy to follow someone else’s train of thought — when the train keeps changing course…
Oooooppppsss….. (SOMETIMES I AM THE SAME!!!)
Sigh. Why does your mind jump like that?
(Shrugs shoulders)… it just does…
I… forgot… what you were like… exactly…
A little bit… undiagnosed ADHD-like… sometimes… yeah…
(Sigh)… but you don’t actually have ADHD…
Don’t I?!?! I don’t even know! I might?!?!?!
I don’t think you do…
Hehehehehe… (shy laughs)…….
How can you have ADHD but then end up hyper-focusing on me?!?!?!
(Slow-blinking)… I don’t know…?!?!?! I just do?!!?!?!
You do NOT have ADHD!!!
We don’t know that — for sure — we don’t actually know.
You’re not like, diagnosed by a psychologist ADHD…
No, I haven’t been diagnosed…
So… I don’t think you have it…
It could be a self-diagnosis?
Ummm… I don’t think you have ADHD…
Why not?!
Okay fine, maybe you do!?!? I don’t know!
(Sheepish grins)… do you think we can still live together?
(Sigh)… I suppose so…………….
You don’t seem so… happy………..
I’m just… thinking.,.. that…. I think we should be okay… I will let you know — if it’s getting too much.
Uhuh…
I’m trying to observe in myself — at what point — have I had enough? What’s going on? I’m trying to have that self-awareness.
I can’t remember now… but I got to a point tonight… where… I’ve completed disassociated from the conversation. Because I can’t follow that train that’s jumping from topic to topic… I just… completely checked out… I think I just answered like, “Yeah…” and I don’t even know what the fuck she is talking about… I’m barely responding. And I am… just walking towards my laptop and I just turned it on to talk to you because I miss you and I need to LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM MENTALLY EXHAUSTED RIGHT NOW…
Awwwwww…. (hugs hugs hugs kisses! Kisses!! Kisssessss!!!!)………..
Sigh…
I’m working on my communication.
That’s good.
I’ve reached my limit tonight. I’m just… done. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to discuss anything. I barely even want to THINK.
What… were you two talking about at dinner?
Sigh… I don’t even remember now. My mind has gone blank. I’ve reached my — I have no idea, I’m mentally exhausted…
So… that was really triggering…?
I don’t know, I’ve gone mind blank now…
This is… eerily similar to… us…?!?!?!
Is it?!?!?! Were we like this?!?!!?!?
Yes… sometimes I would just talk and talk and talk and you would listen and barely respond and then I find out you weren’t even listening and then — LATER — I found out from friends — you completely disassociated! You’re not even THERE. I thought we had a GREAT TIME and you just mentally CHECKED OUT.
Right… hmm… do you have ADHD?!?!?!
THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU. I MIGHT HAVE ADHD!!!
Oh… fuck… but I don’t know if my mother has ADHD, she just jumps from topic to topic, that doesn’t mean she has ADHD….
Okay?!?! So — we don’t need to go into her actual mental… whatever… let’s focus on us… umm… I’ve BEEN trying to let you know — I MIGHT HAVE ADHD. FOR REAL.
Hmmmm… (peering)…. at what point did you know this?
Since… I was very, very young…
But… you get so much stuff done…
BECAUSE I MIGHT HAVE ADHD AND I JUST END UP HYPERFOCUSING ON STUFF.
Hmmm… (peering)…………..
Think about my behaviour… does someone who DOESN’T have ADHD behave like that?!!?!?!?!
Hmmmm…. (peering)……………. I’m not sure……………………….
(Chuckles) — I might have ADHD.
I just need to know — can you still love me? Can you still live with me?!?!
(Sigh) — I GUESS I HAVE TO?!?!?!!?!
No…. you don’t have to…?!?!?! But I wish that you would WANT TO…?!?!?!?! (Pouting)…
Of course I want to!!!
But you just said that your mother — possible ADHD — has mentally exhausted you…
(Sigh)… I didn’t say it specifically but I just physically removed myself from the conversation… I am in my “introverted mode” right now and I am replenishing my energy stores… it’s like a battery re-charging… typing to you — is my introverted energy re-charge…
I did say to my mother, “I haven’t talked this much outside of work for a long time” — when I come home from work, I am in my own mental world — I am not TALKING OUT LOUD like I’m talking to customers at work — that takes energy……..
Hmmmm… (trying to relate to this)…………….
It would be really, really bizaare for me — if YOU can follow her conversations, jumping from topic to topic — and you two actually kind of get along….
(Chuckles) — you think so?!!?!?!
I… don’t…. know….
Do you get along with other ADHD people when their conversations jump from topic to topic?!
(Chuckles)… sometimes…
But I haven’t even found that in my interactions with people with diagnosed ADHD?!?!?!!
You haven’t!?!?!
Ummm… there are people who have diagnosed ADHD and they’re ON the medication… and when I talked to them, I have expressed, “I don’t think you have ADHD? You don’t seem like it” And they have responded, “That’s because I’m on my meds!”
Right…
So…
So…?!?!!
Should you… get diagnosed…? To see if you need any meds….?
Do you want me to?
(Sigh)… Okay, I don’t know yet…
Do you want to?
Not really…
Hmmm… well… we can date… and see how it goes… right?
Right… (starting to get palpitations, starting to overthink this and getting nervous)…
What if the meds make you unattracted to me?
Oh no, that won’t happen.
How do you know?
Because I’ve TRIED the meds — I’m just not taking them right now.
Oh, so you HAVE been diagnosed.
No…
What…
LOL… it’s a fictional blog! I’ve TRIED the meds. But I haven’t been diagnosed. And when I tried them, I was still attracted to you.
But — you probably didn’t take them for that long.
Mmm… it was long enough… to see… some effects…
And…?
I think I was MORE attracted to you… like… insanely… more insane than what I normally am…
What…?
The meds made me like — INTENSELY IN LOVE WITH YOU TO THE POINT THAT I FELT IT WAS GETTING EXTREMELY DISTRACTING AND IT DIDN’T HELP ME FUNCTION AT ALL SO I DECIDED NOT TO TAKE THE MEDS.
That doesn’t sound like ADHD medication at all…
That’s why this is a fictional blog. We’re just fabricating side effects.
(Sigh)….
My point is that I don’t believe any medication can change my attraction to you.
Okay…
Do you believe it?
I think so… I mean, I guess I’m feeling 99.99% sure of it right now as well…
I’m 100% sure.
Okay…
(Sigh)…
Do I jump from topic to topic?!?!?!
In your own way, yes — most people do! — In their own way…
Right… but it’s the intensity and frequency that occurs in some compared to others…
Uhuh…
I just can’t with my mother 24/7!!!
I’m just MENTALLY EXHAUSTED.
We’re NOT talking to each other RIGHT NOW because — I NEED A FUCKING BREAK FROM HER!!!
(Nodding… making notes…)
I played the chill LoFi music…
Oh?
She said it’s making her sleepy…
(Chuckles)…
So… now I have a break from her…
That’s good?
YES — IT’S GOOD — BUT NOW I’M LIKE — TRYING TO… DEFLATE FROM THE DAY…
I see……..
Ugh… I’m watching a YouTube tarot reading…
About what?
LOL… I’m “cross-watching” — I’m watching YOUR star sign — that your fans don’t know.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA………….
I’m seeing what’s happening with your star sign in May 2025… what’s these LOVE MESSAGES…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH… WHAT IS IT SAYING!?!?!?!!?
Hmmmmmm………… they’re saying you have your “routines” — but if you have a lover entering your life — you have to make adjustments to your routines…
(Chuckles) — I KNOW that!!! ^0^
Right… but like… is it gonna be a shock anyway?!?!?!
(Shaking his head!) NO!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO COME DISRUPT MY ROUTINES!!!
Hmmmm…. (smiling)…
Baby my mind has already gone down so many pathways for us…………
Uhuh…………
LOL — “Don’t be too serious, but don’t be so light-hearted that you ruin it”
What….??!?!?
That’s what the tarot reader is saying!!!
Ugh… I’m going to just ignore this advice…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA…….
Ooh, you’re laughing… ^__^ ❤ ❤ ❤
Yes…
Good…
Oh, I just remembered what else happened tonight….
What happened?
I’m going low-carb for dinner.
What?!?!
Tonight, I only had lamb, and some veggies… I didn’t have rice…
Why….?!?!?! (Starting to feel alarmed…)
(Sigh) — because I’ve gained too much weight. My mother has reminded me that I’ve gained too much weight. I should go low-carb for dinner. I’m still going to eat carbs, but I’m not going to eat carbs for dinner anymore.
WHAT. (HATING THIS SO MUCH).
Darling — it’s MY decision. She didn’t “influence” or sway me.
It sounds like she has NAGGED YOU to this!!!
Yeah, I suppose some might re-frame the narrative in this way. But I am very clear in myself tonight that it’s been MY decision. It’s not because of Asian parental nagging.
(Sigh)…
I want to do this for me. I want to go low-carb for dinner.
But I wanted to take you to a buffet for dinner for one of our dates. I wanted to take you to a 16-course degustation…
(Sigh) — if we go to a buffet, I’m still going to enjoy the buffet, I just won’t eat the CARB dishes at the buffet.
If we go to a 16-course degustation… sigh…. do they have a low-carb degustation?!?!?
(Huffing and puffing about this!) — I don’t like this — This is something I’m NOT going to get along with your mother about — I DON’T. LIKE. THIS.
Babe — I don’t even know why you’re so… triggered?!?!?! — Isn’t your whole career, your whole industry full of people around you going low-carb?! I’m only picking ONE MEAL to go low-carb. Just dinner. I’m still eating carbs in the other meals of the day.
THAT’S WHYYYYY I AM SO BLOODY FUCKING TRIGGERED BY THIS. I DON’T WANT YOU TO TURN INTO “THESE” PEOPLE!!!!!!!! STOP CARING ABOUT CARBS!!! I LOVE YOU WHEN YOU EAT CARBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sigh)… this conversation isn’t finished… but I need to let it go for tonight… my love… I am already mentally exhausted from my mother… I can’t argue with you about carbs tonight. I don’t have it in me…
(Deep, deep breaths)… I disagree with her on this.
But it’s also MY decision.
I disagree with these decisions.
Okay but — I’m not asking your permission, I’m just letting you know that I’m doing that.
And I’m letting you know that — I will always love you no matter how much carbs you eat.
Thank you I appreciate it. I really do. It means so much to me that you feel that way. And with that in mind, I’m still choosing to avoid carbs for dinner.
(Sigh)… (acceptance)… I love you so much I don’t want to keep arguing.
Thank you. It was barely an argument, thankfully… and I think… it’ll be okay.
Uhuh…
Hug hug?
Yes please!!!
Hug hugs hugs hugs hugs kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss…
^___^ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 