Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

Alright, let’s see how to summarise more of this report…

My Primary Love Style — Nurturing Communication, which includes:

• Humor
• Quality Conversation
• Words of Affirmation
• PDDA (Public Digital Displays of Affection) — which I don’t agree with. I think it’s just Digital Displays of Affection, DDA.

Secondary Style — Emotional Connection

• Vulnerability
• Emotional Support
• Trust and Security
• Conflict Resolution

So… let’s talk about Humor, firstly?

Is it first in the ranking?

I’m not sure… they are all just sitting there together under Nurturing Communication. I don’t think I would rank them either. These things depends on the situation, what’s happening in the moment. Of course, humor is usually welcomed — but not in a serious situation!

What would be a serious situation?

Sigh… it’s hard to think of these hypotheticals… 99% of the time, humor is welcomed. How about that? Does that help?

Sort of… I still don’t understand when it’s NOT welcome…

I guess I’ll let you know, if it’s “not funny” or “it’s not the right time for something funny” — maybe I’ll say, “This isn’t the time for something funny” — I’ll try to say it gently, how about that?

Ummm… I’d rather be able to predict it first without you having to say that…

But that’s like, impossible to predict accurately.

Is it?!?!?!

Well?!?!?!?!

Sigh. I would like to know more… what else…

Okay, some examples of humour — according to this report.

• Memes
• Jokes
• Comedy nights
• Humorous stories
• Playful teasing
• Shared laughter and joy

That’s simple enough, isn’t it?

What kind of memes?

I… don’t know… if there is a “category” of memes that I like and respond to…

I would like to know exactly what sub-genres of memes you like.

I can’t really describe it either?! I haven’t ever thought to take notice and categorise them? It’s not one specific art style, it just depends if it’s funny or not?!?!

But what is your definition of “funny” — ?

Omggggggggg….

Uh-oh. Am I being annoying??!!?

No, darling. You’re not being annoying — but I don’t know myself, or these things well enough to say, “Well, here is, specifically, my sense of humour!” — How can I define that?!?!? I really don’t know how else to elaborate on this?!?! Can we please move on to the next thing?

Sigh. Okay sure. But you like “funny” — whatever that means…

(Chuckles) — if you pull a funny face, I’m usually, 90% of the time, going to laugh.

Oh? Funny faces?!?

LOL… yeah…?!?!?!?

Just like a random funny expression?!?! I’m probably gonna laugh… if you’re being funny in your facial expressions when telling a story? If you’re quite animated in your body language when telling a story? I’ll probably laugh along…?!?!?!! I’m just thinking about this now… yeah, I think I respond to that?

Okay… (Taking notes…)

Maybe, sometimes, irony — ?

Irony?

When things in life are ironic… it DEPENDS — sometimes people start sounding whiney to me, if they point out life’s ironies TOO MUCH —

Irony — but not too much… (Now feeling more confused…!)

Uhuh…? Is that… okay?

(Taking notes)… where is the line of “too much” — ?!

SIGH…

(Giggles) — I’M SORRY!!!!! AM I BEING ANNOYING?!?!?!?!

(Chuckles) — Sigh. No. You’re being… you… (LOL)……………

Ummm… maybe there needs to be a point. If you’re just pointing out something “is” ironic — but there’s no other depth to it? There’s no point to it? Then it feels like you’re just complaining or whinging about life or society and there’s no POINT?!?!?!?!

No… “point”… to the irony…. (notes)…

(Still puzzled) — what does that mean?!

(Chuckles)….

SIGH…

I have to really think about an example…

Yes please…

Ummm…

Say it’s school holidays now. A customer is telling me, “Oh, I miss them when they’re at school and now it’s school holidays they’re so annoying!” — that’s a parent, complaining about their kids. It’s small talk. I’m not going to find them annoying because they’re a customer. I wouldn’t expect them to go deeper with that in a conversation. I’ll laugh and chuckle because I’m in customer service mode anyway, but I don’t have anything to add to this conversation. And they wouldn’t expect me to, either, because it’s just a small talk interaction. I wouldn’t call it whiney, but it’s just small talk. There’s no real depth here.

But if I’m having this same conversation with female friends — the friends will go into this more deeper. They will be like, describing more emotions. This is my heart ache when the kids are at school. This is the overwhelm I’m experiencing when I’m the housewife, or I’m juggling being a wife, mother, and part-time job. — I love to learn about that, that’s great. But then if they throw in a funny story, too — “This kid!” Bla bla bla — did something funny, something unexpected, and it turned out to be really sweet. So despite them being so bloody annoying! Something heartening happened with them. It was worth it, all the trials and tribulations of motherhood — there was something worth it. — That is a conversation that I would “hold onto” — I feel like I learned something about my friend. I learned something about motherhood. I can keep that in mind for myself, in the future. There was more depth to it. It’s not just complaining about your kids for no reason.

Does that make sense?

Hmmm…. (slow-blinking)… (processing)…

I’m gonna write it down and think more about it later…

Okay, good. Can we move on to the next thing?

Yes.

Quality Conversation…

I think this included UNDIVIDED ATTENTION — like in the traditional “5 Love Languages”

We put our phones in the fish bowl.

Yes.

Some elaborations from the report… “Practice active listening, ask open-ended questions, and share your vulnerabilities to foster a strong emotional connection”

Uhuh… ummm… (slightly overwhelmed)…

I know, that’s a lot in that one sentence. Let’s break it down…

Active Listening — the phones in the fish bowl.

Nodding, and “Hmm…” or any kind of feedback, when I’m talking. You’re letting me know through body language and small gestures, you ARE listening.

Right…

LOL… have you seen that episode of The Office?!?!?!

What episode?!

Sigh… they were trying to teach this to Dwight! About his interactions with women! He needed to practice nodding, and smiling, and eye contact!!! AND HE LOOKED LIKE A PSYCHO!!! — it was so funny! ^0^

(Taking notes…) — Dwight… the Office… active listening… funny scene?!

Okay we’re moving on. (LOL)

The difference between open- and closed- questions. Have you learned about this?

(Shrugs shoulders)… probably not?

A closed question is a question that only gives the other person the option of a “yes or no” or one word or sentence answer. Just a quick answer. Eg. “Are you hungry?” I’m gonna say, “Yes” or “No.”

Uhuh… (staring, wondering)…

You’re allowed to ask me if I’m hungry!

Oh, phew… (LOL)…

But if I’m feeling moody or anything — I could just answer with “Yes” or “No” — I might not elaborate on it at all.

If I’m feeling upset at you?! And I’m just like, “No” — then you should be worried.

Oh?!?!?! (FURIOUSLY TAKING NOTES)…

What is the logic of this?!

Sigh.

Any time I’m not. hungry. — IT’S NOT A GOOD SIGN.

Uhuh… I knew this instinctively…

Okay we’ve veered off from the report…

That’s okay! Finish this topic about being hungry or not!!!

(Sigh)

When I am stressed. I don’t eat.

If you’re the cause of my stress? If we’re together, and you’re causing me to not feel hungry? You should be worried. Because that’s not normal. I’m not hungry, is not a good sign.

Okay… (more notes)…

But anyway, an “open” follow-up question to that, would be “Why?!” or “What’s wrong?” — something that forces me to explain myself.

Right… “open” question forces more talking…

Well — that’s why it’s called an “open” question — you’re asking the person to discuss MORE… and in their own way — you’re not asking for a “yes” or “no” answer.

Okay…

Don’t you realise I do this with you?

Hmmm… (thinking about this)… I haven’t thought about it enough to analyse it…

(LOL)… well… I think I built up these skills over the years.

Uhuh…

Okay, sharing vulnerabilities — give me an example. Tell me a story.

If you’re like “I get it” or “I understand” — I would also like to know, why? How? What happened to you? Something else that is a reason that you can relate to me in that moment?

Hmmmm…

Please keep it non-fiction. I would like to learn about the REAL YOU — not Fernando.

Oh… ah… umm…. hmmmm….

(LOL)… why aren’t you writing this down?!?!?!

Ughhh… the real me?!?!!?!?!?!!

Yes, my love…

(Sigh)… that’s a little harder…

Yeah — that’s why it’s called a “vulnerability” —

Heh…. ha…. ummm…. hmmm…. (thinking more)……….

Dig deep.

Hmmmm….

If you can’t dig deeper EMOTIONALLY — you are not allowed to PENETRATE ME deeply with your PENIS!

(THE SURPRISE BURST OF LAUGHTER)….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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(Still laughing…. laugh-crying)…

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(Waiting for him to finish laughing and finally process that statement)…

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Oh my god……………………..

Uhuh…………..

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Ahem.

Can I still give you a hug? If I can’t open up emotionally?!

(Sigh)… You cheeky bugger!!!!

(Giggles!!!!!!)

Fine. Yes you may.

(Chuckles) — well that’s good to know!

Uhuh…

Okay, moving on…

(Smiles)… I LOVE YOU — is that enough emotional vulnerability?!

Darling. Your “I love yous” will always be welcomed.

If we’re really at a point where it’s harder for you to elaborate on vulnerabilities, fine. “I love you” can be a default.

It’s not a default?!?!?! IT’S MY TRUTH. I LOVE YOU.

Okay… yes…

Moving on…

I love you.

Thank you. I love you too.

Okay…

Words of Affirmation — notes, compliments, heartfelt letters, gratitude, comfort…

I think I have less of a problem with this one. I think I can actively maintain this.

Yes — I think you’re generally good with words, if you know that it’s gonna be important to me…

Yeah.

Okay…

“PDDA” — which I don’t mind us simply only having “DDA” — DIGITAL displays of affection.

Yeap. This one is easy for me too. I get it.

Yeah, true. I don’t think we need to elaborate.

Okay, the secondary style… (sigh)… I think I’m starting to feel tired…

Ohhhh please… finish up the secondary styles…

Here we go, Vulnerability — “Share your fears, dreams, feelings” — empathy —

Empathy…

Yes, my darling… you DO have that emotion…

(LOL)… (Chuckles)…

You easily act like you don’t, but it’s a shield.

(Giggling)…

If you didn’t have empathy, I don’t think you could truly fall in love with me?

No?

Because — it doesn’t even make sense!

If you’re just an egotistical celebrity hungry-for-fame-and-power you don’t need to be with me?! If you don’t have empathy, you just want a PR relationship to build your own fame?! You wouldn’t need me?!?!!?!?

(Nodding)… That’s true…

Yeah… I guess… if you tell me more about your charity work… and your emotional experiences… I would feel very touched that you shared that with me, on a deeper level…

Ahh — I see — (notes)… charity…

(LOL)… isn’t it obvious??!?!?!?!!

Umm… now that you point it out, yes?! But initially?! I didn’t think about it like this…

(Smiles)…

Maybe I get impressed with guys who have money but are willing to volunteer their time and energy to do charity work.

(Wide-eyed)… Impressed?!

Mmmm… yeah…

It makes me feel like… “That’s a GOOD MAN…”

(Chuckles)….

Even if there was a little bit of ego behind it — something is better than nothing.

I don’t think you can go wrong in sharing charity stories with me…

(Big smiles)… okay… (notes)…!!!

Ugh, these next three sub-categories feel like, even I’m not ready for it… emotional support? Trust and security? Conflict resolution? — Maybe we can go through this together in real life. I feel like it’s even further down the track in the relationship…

I wanna know about it now…

LOL…

Emotional support — encourage me with positive words. Hold a safe space for me to talk and discuss whatever’s going on. “Support each other’s emotional wellbeing”

Okay that’s like, when you’re like, “Don’t read the comments on social media!” — you’re protecting my emotional wellbeing.

AHHHHHH — OKAY I GOT THIS ONE — 100% I KNOW WHAT TO DO HERE.

Uhuh…

Trust and Security — does it even need to be spelled out?!?!?!

(Chuckles) — Not really, but I wanna know what the report says.

The report says, “Being reliable, transparent, supportive…”

Yeah — okay.

(LOL)

Okay, next…

Conflict Resolution —

Involves addressing and resolving conflicts in a healthy manner. Practice active listening, apologize sincerely, forgive each other, and work towards finding solutions that strengthen your relationship.

(Nodding, smiling)…

Okay, I’m scrolling down further, I’m jumping around the report a bit…

When my Love Expressions are met… I will feel….

• Fulfilled
• Connected
• Understood
• Desired
• Secure
• Appreciated
• Loved

When they’re NOT met… I will feel…

• Frustration
• Disconnect
• Misunderstood
• Undesired
• Insecure
• Unappreciated
• Unloved

Mmm-hmm…. I think that is quite self-evident…

Yes… well… now it’s in a report… for reminders…

(Chuckles)…

But this is a two-way street?!?! You get to tell me YOUR love expressions too?!?!!

I don’t have love expressions. I love you. That’s all I need.

If I have you, then my “love expressions” are met. When I don’t have you, then my “love expressions” are not met.

LOL… we’re gonna dig deeper throughout the years…

(Smiling)… Hug hugs…

Mmm… I think that’s enough for now…

Okay… ^__^ ❤ ❤ ❤