Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

Babe… (sigh)… we need to talk about New Moon and Full Moon Manifesting…

(Glad that she didn’t go silent for too long!!!) — Um, okay? What happened to the Rom Com? 5 Love Languages? 8 Love Expressions?

Those are all put on hold.

On hold…? For how long?

Until I say so!

(Nodding, smiling)… okay…

I think it must’ve been… some time between 2009 and 2012…? Maybe? Somewhere there in the timeline?

Uhuh…

Something like that — maybe even up to 2014? Now I really don’t know!

That’s okay. I get it — sometime… after Melbourne… way before Covid…

Yeah…

(Sigh)…

I came across a book… I had just recently sunk my teeth into astrology and all that — and simultaneously was part of the Buddhist charity community and all that…

Uhuh…

I thought I wanted to marry a Taiwanese guy…

Uhuh…

But it didn’t work out… I was really, really sad…

Uhuh…

I tried to manipulate it. I dived into the Moonology books about using the New and Full Moons for manifesting.

Uhuh…

I followed the instructions, I wrote down all my wishes…

Uhuh… (Where else is she going with this?!?!?!?!)

I wrote it all out — I didn’t share it with social media at all — it was all my inner most wishes… about a husband, a Soul Mate — someone compatible with me.

(Nodding)…

Then I read over what I wrote.

I looked at it. And it hit me in one sudden moment —

“Fuck — that’s not the Taiwanese guy at all. THAT’S FERNANDO!”

Oh? You remembered me?!?!?!? In 2009 to 2012??!?!

I must’ve because why do I remember that moment?

Uhuh??? Why Fernando?

We’re just using Fernando now instead of “Common Name” — Fernando is easier to refer to.

Okay.

Why didn’t you reach out to me when you realised this?

Because —

Maybe I thought it was too late…?

Why would you have thought that?

I don’t know… maybe I didn’t even have the old Facebook account anymore. In fact I know I didn’t… I must’ve switched like 2 or 3 profiles by then.

Okay…

No, maybe I thought that, you were dating someone…

How would you have gotten that information?

I didn’t. I just made it up for the blog.

Uhuh…

I did confront my mother.

You did?

Yes, I confronted her before I reached out. Well, obviously, I didn’t reach out.

What happened when you confronted your mother?

She said sorry. She apologised. She said, “Fine! I’M SORRY — You want Fernando?! Go get Fernando!”

WHAT?!?!?!?!

Yes. She said that. She challenged me. “If you want him that badly — go get him. I’m not stopping you. You’re full grown. Mid-20’s — Do whatever you want.”

Oh? Mid-20s?

It must’ve been mid- to late-20s…

And why didn’t you go get Fernando?

…. I can’t remember…

Oh?

I can’t remember why I didn’t. But I didn’t.

Okay…

(Sigh).

Maybe I was just focusing on my studies at the time.

That doesn’t sound right…

No… maybe I tried to find Fernando and I couldn’t find him… I had nothing to stalk, I just let it go…

You tried to stalk Fernando?

I can’t remember!!!

I feel like — it seems like something that I would do…

Or maybe some friends just called me out to hang out and I hung out with friends because the friends were trying to cheer me up about the Taiwanese guy and off I went along with all that — maybe there was alcohol — and I forgot about both the Taiwanese guy and Fernando for a little while…

That sounds about right… but you remembered this conversation with your mother?

Yes…

I do remember the conversation with my mother — because it was such a knee-jerk reaction. I wrote out ALL my wishes. It was supposed to be on a New Moon — I wrote it all out. And then I read it back — LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK. THAT’S FERNANDO!!!

I really, really remember that feeling. That realisation.

But then you also forgot about it just as quickly?!

Maybe?! Maybe it got washed away with alcoholic friendly hang outs… yeah. That’s possible.

So, what, like in the span of 24 hours?! From writing out New Moon wishes to confronting your mother to then going out to drinks with girl friends?!

Yeah?!?!!? Isn’t that — a totally normal thing for a 25 or 27 year old?! I can’t remember how old I was?!?!?! Probably even in the span of less than 12 hours?? — It didn’t take that long to write out my wishes, maybe 20 minutes? Then realisation — less than 5 minutes. Then finding my mother living in the same house — confronting her face to face?! — 15 minutes?! — Then, a call or text from friends?! “HEY!!! LET’S MEET HERE FOR DRINKS!!!” — out the door in another 20 minutes?!

Huh…….

Yeah?! Definitely 20s… I didn’t do that in my 30s…

Okay……..

(Chuckles) — OKAY?!?!!?

What would the friends have said?!

I don’t think I brought up Fernando — they weren’t mutual friends from Melbourne. They were new friends on Gold Coast — Fernando was non-existent.

They would’ve talked and talked and talked over all the little stupid things about the Taiwanese guy — from every angle! — Like Sex and the City — Gold Coast, Taiwanese version — and it would’ve been so exhausting to have been a fly on the wall.

All these conversations that led to nothing.

What did your Mum think about that Taiwanese guy?

She found it peculiar…

What?

He was… “odd” — she sensed something off about his energies… she never fully liked him, even though other Aunties were praising him!

Why did they praise him?

He seemed like a good guy…

Seemed?

Yes — I mean, generally, yes, he’s a good guy.

He’s just not compatible with me.

Oh, I see… (smirks)…

I kind of freaked out his Mum…

Why?

I wore a fake tattoo and she thought it was a real one…

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA…. (CACKLING!!!) ^0^ WHYYY DID YOU DO THAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

(Giggles!!!) ^__^ I was just being cheeky!!!

I wanted to see if he would accept me as a girl who would feel like wearing a FAKE tattoo every now and then just for FUN!!!

LOLOLOLOOLLLL….

It was so OBVIOUS it was FAKE!!! Anyone with EYES could see — that’s a FAKE tattoo!! It’s not real!!!

You… naughty, naughty…. (smirk! smirk!!!)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^0^ ❤ ❤ ❤

(Smitten) ^__^ ❤ ❤ ❤

Maybe I am a Witch, then? Maybe I weaved this all into the New Moon manifestations…

It doesn’t make sense — I was already all those things — you simply realised it for yourself during a New Moon…

True…

And how can it be Witchcraft if you WENT TO DRINK WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FORGOT ABOUT ME ANYWAY?!?!

Hmmm… (slow-blinking)…. I don’t know…

I don’t think it’s Witchcraft.

True. It’s not…

But it’s interesting that you only remember that moment… the confrontation with your mother… but then… you don’t remember… other stuff…

Uhuh… it’s so… tangible, for me, in my memories. Because my mother would not just “SPIT” those words to me like that if it wasn’t real.

She wouldn’t have said, “FINE! GO MARRY HIM!” — it was such a huge confrontation.

And in that moment it felt “too late” — my heart sank, like it was all too late… why did I feel that way?! I don’t know… so I didn’t bother reaching out at all…

Uhuh… okay… (noted)…

Maybe I just felt like, you were living your life in a totally different realm… I wished you the best, I wished you well… I didn’t want to disturb whatever you had going on…

You caught up with Older Brother.

I did?!

Of course!!! And you talked over some things with the mutual friends in the group chat as well…

Oh — but I didn’t tell anyone about the New Moon wishes…

Nope. That you did not. I’m genuinely learning about this now.

And I didn’t tell them about my mother…

No… you did not…

So, now you know. My Love.

My mother was basically already like, “Fuck this, go marry whoever you want!!!” — in that moment. She was also quite fed up with me and all my “failed” marital prospects… what a disappointing daughter in that moment!

(LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)…………….

Yeap… don’t wear fake tattoos if you’re trying to marry a Taiwanese Buddhist conservative…

REALLY?!?!?! IS THAT WHAT HE WAS?!?!?!!?

ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, I see… (Smirks!!!)

…

…

…

Where was the tattoo, anyway? What was it?

It was on my calf? I can’t remember, maybe some wings or roses or something… I can’t remember…

Wings or roses?

Maybe it was a rose with thorns…

(Chuckles)… LOLOLOLOL….

No, I’m just guessing. I really can’t remember. It wasn’t even important.

Uhuh… I believe you…

You do?!

(Giggles) — Yes… if you wore a fake tattoo on our dates, I wouldn’t even bat an eyelid…

I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!?!!? IT’S LIKE — SO NOTHING!!!

(Nodding) — It’s literally nothing… with you, it doesn’t mean any fucking thing. You were just accessorising.

YES!!! EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^0^ ❤ ❤ ❤