Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

How did society trick women into thinking having a career was a good thing?

U don’t think having a career is a good thing?

Depends on the career…

But the girlies, these days, we keep joking about finding a good husband and simply being a housewife!

🤣🤣🤣 lol… I’m ready for u whenever u are… 😏

Yeah but u wouldn’t have been when we first met… u were nowhere near ready…

But I didn’t stick around to wait and see. I just dropped the whole thing and let u go…

Yeah… I don’t blame u at all. U know I was going thru some other stuff. There’s things I’ll never publicly tell. U don’t seem to want to go into it on ur fictional blog either?

No… I don’t want to paint that picture, even for ur fictional character…

I’ve forgiven him by now…

U have?

Yes… Train wreck… he was just a boy…

I agree he was a train wreck…

But if women didn’t have autonomy. Say that society just conditioned women to go to school just to find a man. Not really with any real purpose or intention to establish a career…

If u had met me, chased me, confessed ur love and intent to marry me as u did…

And if my parents were fine like, “sure! Take her off our hands!!!”

Then we would’ve been married by, what? 2008? And then I’d be tied — like a trapped housewife — to you and your habits at the time?

🥺🥺🥺 I’m sorry… it would’ve been Hell…

Why wasn’t I enough for u to stop those things? U didn’t cheat on me physically with other girls but u “abandoned” us — my ideal dream of us — with self-destructive habits. Things being triggered that had nothing to do with me?!

😣😣😣 it was a self-esteem thing…

U “slapped me” with ur voice from too much alcohol. Too much shouting. What if I was your wife, legally, and you got too drunk, too often, and then you physically punched or slapped me from being too drunk? What if it turned into physical assault?

😭😭😭 I could not bear it when I finally sobered up… I would never hurt you like that!!!

Then would you have blamed me? If you got that drunk that I feared for my own physical safety so then I simply left our house and waited it out?

🥺🥺🥺 No. I never blamed you this whole time… I always only blame myself…

But then in our moments, years, when I’ve actually forgotten you? How did that make you feel?

I felt it was valid. I would’ve tried to forget Train wreck too. He was a mess.

If society had forced you to marry him… you would have needed a social worker to come to our house all the time?

Even the mutual friends couldn’t help him. He was on his own downward spiral…

Yeah…

What if I stayed? Enabled his habits? Would he even be the you now? Would he even be able to handle his own success?

I don’t think… he’d even get past one audition round… 😅 he would’ve been too drunk! He would’ve just taken it all for granted. If you were still waiting at home like a good wife?! “Oh well, fuck this. Drink more. Go home to her…”

But then resent her?! When you didn’t get through the auditions? Is that what would’ve happened?!

Do you see my choices at the time?

Stay with you? Baby you and indulge you? Because I wasn’t strong enough either. I couldn’t have been that type of woman to be like “I can handle him. I can take this for what it is…”

I was scared… I got spooked…

I don’t blame you.

You trusted your gut about this.

I genuinely had moments of thinking, yeah, maybe he doesn’t know his own strength…

Have you ever played with a dog to the point it’s growling at you, and then you suddenly realise it might not be play? It’s turning into a beast?

… No…?

Well I have…

When?

A childhood classmate’s house… we were just hanging out after school… they had a Rottweiler.

I knew it from when it was a puppy… but it was around teenage puppy years. We were playing with it… but suddenly, it started growling…

We dropped the play and backed away…

The puppy switched, just like that.

Nano-seconds.

If I didn’t have those instincts, who knows? A rottweiler attack?!

Nobody can say for sure now… we didn’t have phone cameras capturing every movement. But I can tell you from my memories, it happened like that…

You feared me like that memory of a childhood incident with a rottweiler…

Yes.

It was so cute when it was a puppy…

But by this time it was maybe 7 or 8 months old? Maybe 9 months?

It wasn’t even a year old but it was getting huge. It didn’t realise its own size. Its own muscles. How strong it could be. How overpowering it could already be. It’s not a puppy anymore. If it tried to stand up on two legs, it’s already taller than me now, as a adult woman.

Imagine my fear?!

How old were you?

Maybe 11 or 12…

Where were the parents?!

Just inside the house. We were playing with the dog in the backyard…

😳😳😳 that sounds…?

Everyone was used to it being the puppy that it was… anyway the play was neutralised. We didn’t reward or antagonise any growling.

I was like a rottweiler teenager puppy to you?

In hindsight, I’m remembering these layers now… I’m not sure if I had those thoughts in the forefront at the time… it may have been more instinctual.

No. I don’t want to be trapped in this marriage if he has habits like that…

That was probably the driving force to breakup at the time…

You neutralised me.

You don’t even know it.

I was neutralised.

Still self-destructive, but I created my own leash with it.

My leash… was always tied to you.

I needed your approval. I strived for you to notice me.

The more you kept ignoring me and living your life, the more motivation I had to become successful and famous so that you wouldn’t be able to ignore me!!!

Oh, sigh… 🫠

And what of us now?

You’re all cleaned up?

2025, yes.

Actually, it’s been many years…

Why did you smell like alcohol when you came to see me last year?

It was just on the clothes. I doused the clothes in alcohol. I was just testing your reactions to it…

So it was all an act?

Partly…

What was the other part?

I was too shy… ☺️

I’m feeling ready now…

Ready for what?

Our next chapter, in real life…

The next chapter?

Your redemption arc in this story…

🫠🥰 my redemption arc…

Yes. Because you will make it. You will show up. You will marry me and it won’t feel like a trapped marriage. It will be a good marriage…

😏😏😏♥️♥️♥️♥️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Lots of passion. Lots of hugs and kisses.

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥