Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

After a few more trips of mini-visits to Taiwan…

Wifey: My Sweetheart, what have you learned about Taiwan so far?

Hubby: Well, the guide took us around… to more than one expat area? There’s more than one? There’s more than a few, actually… more than people might realise or write about in travel blogs… there’s various places, scattered throughout the city — even some hidden places? And there’s just… so many… AMERICANS… Like — why are there SO MANY AMERICANS in TAIWAN?!

Wifey: Ummm… Darling… you’re in an area near an American military base…

Hubby: Am I?!?!?!

Wifey: (Nodding)… you’re surrounded by American military… you might have even met some “undercover” as civilians…

Hubby: Oh… is that why they don’t even give a shit when I even tell them EXACTLY WHO I AM AND WHAT I DO?!?!?!?!

Wifey: Have you just been blabbing away in these expat areas?!?!!?

Hubby: Well — everybody is “drinking” and chillaxing anyway — I’m meeting friends of friends of the MILLENNIAL friends — I figured, what the heck, let me just see how far I can stretch it — and I’ve literally flat out told people exactly who I am, what I do, what’s my situation — nobody bats an eyelid, they’re SO CHILL…

Wifey: (Giggles) — Even if they’re not military, I’m sure they’re in Taiwan for their own reasons as well, that’s why. They’re not really going to bother broadcasting who you are or what you’re doing there…

Hubby: (Giggles)… I didn’t realise Taiwan expat areas were such a HIDDEN GEM for me to RELAX AND HANG OUT IN!!!

Wifey: Yeah… I hadn’t thought of it until now, either… you’re actually also really safe…

Hubby: Am I?! Am I that safe?!?!

Wifey: Yes — because all the expat areas — have AMERICAN MILITARY GRADE PROTECTION AROUND THEM — you have UNDERCOVER MILITARY amongst you — don’t you know it?!?!?!

Hubby: I do?!?!?! Hmm — actually their acting is good, I really can’t tell!!!

Wifey: It’s okay. Just stay… not-knowing… you don’t expect them to be and they don’t want you to expect them to be. Just chill… relax… have fun, but not too much fun…

Hubby: But what if there’s real tensions?! What if there’s sudden — attacks?!

Wifey: You’re a foreigner. You’ll be prioritised like the women and children on the Titanic to be helicoptered the fuck out. You’re not in any real danger at all, my love… you’re probably safer than you are in your own country?!

Hubby: (slow-blinking)… (thinking about this)… I… actually do feel safer here than in my own country…

Wifey: (Nodding) It’s probably even safer than Australia…

Hubby: You think so?!?!

Wifey: Yeah… Australia’s more… in the middle… it’s not too dangerous — but I wouldn’t say it’s innocently completely safe “all the time” either — you still have to have some street smarts in Australia…

Hubby: So I don’t need any street smarts in the expat areas in Taiwan?! I can just skip along anywhere, enjoy all the AMERICANA that I’m surrounded by, and just blissfully enjoy this area?!

Wifey: Well… (shrugs shoulders)… probably, yeah… (LOLOLOLOLOLOL)…

Hubby: It’s SO AMERICAN — honestly I’m still in a little bit of a culture shock, of how “American” the expat areas are… it’s like how there’s Chinatown in Australia — THIS IS AMERICA-TOWN IN TAIWAN!!!

Wifey: Don’t you have similar areas in your own country?! Haven’t you been to expat areas in Japan? Hong Kong? Other Asian countries?!

Hubby: Yes but it’s not to this level — I think Taiwan wins… in terms of… American… worship!??!! — even more than Philippines, which I already thought was “VERY AMERICANISED” — Taiwan is on a whole other level… at least, the areas my guide’s taken me to… like… I feel like I’m IN America — like I just flew 2.5 hours to hang out in America!?!?!? But almost everyone else also happens to and can speak Mandarin?!?!?

Wifey: Yes, my love — it’s like an unofficial American colony… (chuckles)…

Hubby: WHAT?!?!?!?!?! (lololololololllll)……………………

Wifey: I don’t even know why you’re surprised?!?!?

Hubby: Well, I’ve just never really thought about it. But now that I’m thinking about it, okay… it sort of makes sense…

Wifey: There’ll be American book stores too — you can go have a read of some books.

Hubby: Oh? You like the American book stores?

Wifey: “I”… LOVE… the American book stores… I love browsing through so many American books that I normally just wouldn’t even stumble upon in Australia — sure, I can google them these days — but it’s not the same feeling as being at the book store in person. Just being there, with the smell of coffee and cakes at the cafes nearby and the low murmurs of introverts reading books in their own corners… it’s a beautiful vibe, I love it…

Hubby: I noticed there’s Japanese book stores too?! — We drove past a billboard — Actually, my guide hasn’t taken me to the “Japanese” influenced areas yet —

Wifey: (Nodding)… the Japanese influenced areas would be harder to find if you’re not local… or don’t have local friends…

Hubby: Oh?

Wifey: It’s not like “LOUD” and out there like the American areas — it’s more low-key… chill vibes… a really cool restaurant in a hidden alleyway, stuff like that… super chill…

Hubby: (LOLOLOLOLOL) EVERYWHERE I’ve been to so far has been FUCKING CHILL — HOW MUCH MORE CHILL CAN IT GET IN TAIWAN?!?!!? IT’S SOOO CHILL!!!!!

Wifey: (Chuckles) These are the things people don’t know about Taiwan… (LOLOLOLOL)…

Hubby: It’s actually SO CHILL?!?!?!?!?!?!

Wifey: (Laughing with her head leaning back!) ^0^

No, no… there’s definitely non-chill areas… but for you, a “wealthy foreigner” just visiting — yeah, you’ll get to enjoy all the chill vibes…

Hubby: And they’re friendly and respectful too. They’re so polite?!?!?!!?

Wifey: Why are you SURPRISED by this?!?! OF COURSE TAIWANESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE POLITE — TO YOUR FACE!!!

Hubby: (Chuckles)… I’m just delighted! — And… even the workers — like the staff in these areas, they all speak English?!

Wifey: They would’ve learned it by high school and university — the workers are probably uni students. Their English would be university level English. (In the expat areas)…

Hubby: Oh… interesting…

Wifey: You’ll probably have some workers who DO recognise you — but they’re not allowed to fan boy or fan girl — and they’ve seen OTHER CELEBRITIES TOO — just hanging out — not doing much — they’re not allowed to talk about it…

Hubby: (Chuckles)… I’m loving Taiwan. Let’s live here. Permanently. Not Australia.

Wifey: Mmm… “I” don’t like that idea…

Hubby: You don’t?!?!!?

Wifey: No, I don’t think I would want to live there for more than 3 to 6 months at a time…

Hubby: Aww… but I’m having so much fun…

Wifey: Because you’re only VISITING — you’re not actually LIVING THERE — you’re hanging out with other wealthy Millennial DUDES just drinking and chatting and chilling out — it FEELS fun — but it’s not “REAL LIFE” in TAIWAN…

Hubby: Aww… okay….

Wifey: I don’t want you to get sucked into any drinking or gambling or anything else.

Hubby: I won’t…

Wifey: I’m being serious.

Hubby: I’m being serious too! I definitely won’t do any of that stuff!!! I’m honestly so PROUD OF MYSELF that I’m HAVING FUN without needing ANY OF THAT!

Wifey: Okay. Yeah… but sooner or later that “fun” will get monotonous too and you’re going to start missing me again…

Hubby: Oh, baby — my heart never stops aching for you — it’s just “fun” to the level of fun-ENOUGH… my heart is still aching FOR YOU…

Wifey: Okay, well, that’s how I feel when I’m “having fun” in Australia, too…

Hubby: I… LOOOOOOVE… YOUUUUUU….

Wifey: I love you too… xoxoxoxoxxx