Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

Tell me more about Fire Walking.

Umm… it was so long ago… way before the Pandemic.

And you never told me or Older Brother when we had our friendly catch-ups throughout the years before the Pandemic?!?!?!

Hmm… I guess it never came up as a conversation topic…

You never posted about it on your Facebook or Insta…

Hmm… I guess I didn’t…

Why?!?! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!

LOL… It’s really not that interesting. I guess I didn’t post about it because it kind of felt like another day at work for me. It involved some past co-workers at a previous place I was working at…

What year?

I can’t remember… maybe 2013? 2014? I really can’t remember exactly…

Not 2015?

I’m not sure… possibly… some time between 2013 to 2015…

Huh…

Anyway, it was a co-worker thing. “Team bonding” exercise that the boss suggested. So I didn’t have to pay for it. The EMPLOYER paid for it, and we all had to show up, sign INSURANCE WAIVERS — for the event hosts — because we’re willingly WALKING BAREFOOT OVER HOT COALS AND FLAMES OF FIRE!!!

(Chuckles)

It was a good experience, though… I’m glad I did it… and didn’t even have to pay for it! (LOL)

How much was the ticket?

I have no idea… okay let’s Google…

A fire walking ticket in Australia typically costs between $100 and $200 depending on the event organizer, location, and whether it’s part of a larger seminar or workshop, with most leaning towards the higher end of that range. 

Woah…

It definitely wasn’t that before the Pandemic — I don’t think?! I don’t remember it being that much at all. Maybe I’m wrong, but I thought it was only like, $50 or something?! I have no idea about these details… I just showed up.

And? What else happened?

You know, walking over the coals, it only takes, less than a minute. The whole event — leading up to it — was like, motivational speeches. Reflecting about your life and your goals, and exercises to do with stuff like that… I don’t know if it’s the same format these days with whoever is hosting it… but that’s what I experienced…

And what did you reflect about your life and all that?

Umm… I still hadn’t remembered you… so… I guess I was just… wanting all the typical things people want in life, in general… “Meet the right guy, get married… have a good career… maybe kids…” etc etc —

You didn’t think about me at all during those reflections?

No… sorry… babe… I was… totally… “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” — it worked so well on me. It’s like I hypnotized myself to forget about it. I really, really forgot about it… Forgot about you… at that time…

It’s okay…

It is?!?!?!

Yes — because, knowing what we know now. Experiencing what we’re experiencing now… I don’t blame you… This is, actually… harder…

It is?

Yes. It’s harder. It’s much, much harder. I am feeling it everyday. It’s so much harder that you remember me now.

Oh?!?! What were you doing before?! But you were turning to alcohol and everything else…

That’s WHY this is harder. It’s HARDER to be GOOD. It’s HARDER to know that you’re RIGHT THERE — You DO LOVE ME BACK — It’s not just my own delulu — YOU REALLY LOVE ME BACK AND I CAN’T EVEN GET ON A PLANE TO SEE YOU WHENEVER I WANT BECAUSE I HAVE ALL THESE OTHER COMMITMENTS…

It was EASIER to feel like I got “REJECTED” — and just wallow in my own misery, write some songs of longing… drown myself in alcohol as self-sabotage… THAT WAS EASIER.

Hmm… well… I guess we went through similar reflections with the Fire-Walking stuff… like, some of the motivational speakers — and there were a few in the line-up… they talked about stuff like this… not the exact same scenarios, but similar… their own life stuff…

Oh…?

Yeah… I don’t remember all the stories but I remember one guy was like… “I used to be in the army… and that was my motivation… but after I left the army… I still needed something… so I started running marathons…” — like he still needed to set some “goals” for himself — even after leaving the army. His body? His mind? It got used to having that… routine?! Maybe?! Some kind of discipline that forced him to still… dedicate to something?! (Shrugs shoulders)

I think I get what you mean… So he just trained for marathons every year after he left the army?

Pretty much… marathons… triathlons… (LOL)… do guys get REALLY REALLY FIT from the ARMY?!?!?! Like they just have so much ENERGY?!?!?!?!

(Chuckles) Not everyone… but I can relate to him… I have a lot of energy too…

Okay well.. it’s up to you if you want to run MARATHONS or TRIATHLONS when you’re semi-retired… lol… alongside being a music teacher?!!?! (LOL)…

(Smiling) Maybe I could also be a martial arts teacher?

(Shrugs shoulders) Whatever you wanna do, babe… I’m here for it, as long as it’s what you really wanna do…

(Smiles) So what else happened at Fire Walking?

Well… I just remember we also had some breaks — that’s how I started talking to the teacher lady — we were just grabbing a coffee or something, morning tea… I can’t remember exactly. I don’t even remember HOW we started talking… but we just ended up sitting together, taking a break from “that room” — where the event was — and we just… de-briefed, a little?!

(Nodding… listening)…

She was so easy to talk to. And then maybe I said something like, “You’re SO EASY to talk to” and then she explained that she was like, a special-ed type of teacher… (maybe not in those words, it’s just how I’m remembering it)… And then, I guess I was just naturally curious and we just talked more and she explained — “It’s a school for boys who get expelled from every other school” And I was blown away — SUCH A SCHOOL EXISTS?!?!?! — Like… wtf…… ?!?!

(Chuckles) Yeah that’s kind of my initial reaction too…

Yeah but then the more she explained, I felt like, wow… that’s really important… somehow… she’s there… she’s helping those boys… I don’t know if she’s even still there now… but… yeah… she explained a lot of them had undiagnosed conditions… before they got to the school, and then they got their diagnosis after being enrolled in the school?

Oh?

Yeah… it’s unfortunate… so those boys just didn’t have very strong support systems… maybe? I don’t know…

And is there a good… graduation… success… rate? Or something like that?

I’m not sure… maybe it’s all on their website? But from my understanding, of what she told me… it was something like… a lot of them end up in apprenticeships — that’s quite common in Australia — so they’re not even at that school that long. Apprentices can leave school by age 15? 16? Something like that…

Apprentices for what?

I don’t know?!?!!? This is SO NOT MY AREA!!!

(Chuckles) Well… does the school actually teach music?

Hmm… Let me go check the website…

Yes, it’s part of their “enrichment” program…

I’m… genuinely finding this very interesting… are you going to name the school?!

I don’t know… should I…?

What’s the harm if you do?

Ummm… the way I’ve talked about the boys…? I don’t know… is it… fair? I don’t really know… maybe it’s slightly fictional exaggeration… I’m not sure…?

How would anyone search for this school if you don’t name them?

Ughh… well… okay, quick google — it’s not the ONLY type of “those” type of schools — google search, if you want: “schools for disengaged students” — that’s the POLITE way of saying it. MMmm-hmmm. I’m more comfortable saying that on the blog.

Okay… interesting…

Yeah. So there are other co-ed ones too…

I find this very interesting.

Why?!?!

I think it’s quite unique to Australia.

It is…?!!?

Yeah… I think so? I mean, I haven’t really googled this either… it’s just a general feeling… it’s rare the whole school is just designed for their… “rehabilitation” sort of — right?!

Mmmm…? I don’t know… this really isn’t my industry!?!?!?!?!?!

I think… even if there’s some like this already in America, in England… wherever… it’s still rare… anywhere in the world…

Okay. See. It’s not my industry. But if you’re really that interested — and if you go to uni — you can DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH — and write your own papers about this!!! That’s what a uni degree in education is going to allow you to do!!!

(Chuckles) Oh I see…

Yeah. You can write your own thesis about it. You could do a Masters — PhD — some kind of research with music therapy and disengaged kids? Or maybe not even therapy. Maybe it is that “music enrichment” curriculum — something designed for them — and then… I don’t know, something something academic… bla bla bla… PhD?!?!?!?!!?

(Chuckles)

But it has to be ethical. You’ll have to pass an ethics committee. It’s still involving… vulnerable individuals in society…

(Nodding) Okay… I get it… I mean, I’m not going to do anything about it RIGHT NOW THIS MINUTE… but it’s interesting… I’m genuinely very interested in this… in the long term… musical… rehabilitation, in a way… I think that’s cool…

Yeah. It’s cool. It’s healing…

^__^ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Weren’t we talking about Fire Walking?!

Oh yeah… tell me more about that!

Well — it was such a big build-up. The entire day… but then… actually, I was scared — the 10 seconds before you actually GET ON THE COALS — it’s scary — all of a sudden. It’s like, “Wait, what am I doing?!?! Is this going to hurt me?!?!?!” And then — all the exercises, all the motivational speeches and everything that had happened throughout that day, all the self-reflection exercises — I just… BELIEVED IN MYSELF — because of everything that the day was designed to show us — believe in yourself, go WALK or RUN over THOSE COALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Wide-eyed!!!)

Yeah…. I think I didn’t run… because if you RUN, then you DIG your feet into the coals MORE —

Ahhh… (realising)

BUT — if you walk TOO SLOW —

That’s ALSO painful…

Yes!!! So you had to find that balance… you had to… walk — calmly — but not too fast, not too slow… over the coals…

Oh, it’s a METAPHOR!!!

(LOL) Yes… it’s a metaphor… the actual walk isn’t that far at all. It’s like, 3 metres?! Something very short. It’s not a long walk at all… and you have everyone else around you, cheering you on!

(Smiling)

And the whole event started in the day time, but the walk was by night time — you see the FLAMES… it’s got more impact at night…

(Nodding) This sounds so cool, I kind of want to grab the bros and do it…

I think…. Tony Robbins originally popularised it in America… I think that’s a big part of how it’s evolved…

(Smiles) Good to know… (Googling more now)…

Should I go firewalking before I come back to see you in person, in real life?

Oh… I don’t know… it’s up to you… but actually I’m scared you’re gonna run and get blisters…

(Laughing) Okay but what if I just walk — not too fast, not too slow?

I don’t know… some people are more sensitive than others… some people have said they got blisters… there’s definitely a whole heap of medical warnings and all that in the waiver that you sign…

(Laughing) THAT MAKES ME WANT TO DO IT MORE!!!

Okay well.. don’t peer pressure the other bros to do it if they don’t wanna do it…

Yeah. I won’t pressure them at all. But I do want to make that suggestion…

I like how your employer thought it was a good team-bonding exercise… that’s so cool!

Mmmm… well… I didn’t end up bonding with my co-workers, I ended up be-friending the teacher lady! (LOL)

Yeah. Maybe that’s a good thing too. Maybe my bros and I should split up? If we go?

I don’t know, I don’t remember how that happened with my co-workers… if we were split up into different groups? I honestly don’t have much memory of those co-workers… it was such an individual, reflective kind of journey…

Oh yeah, okay. Yeah. I think we did get split up… because it’s too personal… all those kinds of exercises… NOW I’m starting to remember — I did see a co-worker wave her hand at me from across the room, during one of the exercises, because, yes, we got split up… so we met other strangers on the day.

There were lots of exercises to do… reflective journaling… it’s never necessary to share — only if you want to — so then, yeah. We weren’t in the same groups. But by the time of the fire-walking, all my co-workers were there amongst all the other strangers, because everyone came together in a big, BIG GROUP to cheer EVERYBODY on in their fire-walk.

Everybody cheered on EVERYBODY. It was equal. Every person watched every other person walk through those coals and cheered them on!

(Smiling)… Now I wanna make all my bros do it!!! (Devilish grin)

(Chuckles) — No!!! It’s too personal!!! Only if they have their own FREE WILL to do it!! Don’t force anyone to do it!!!

Okay… fine… but I wanna do it. I think we can get it organised when we go to America…

(LOLOLOLOLOL)…………………….. Okay, fine! I’ll watch THAT episode!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA… FINALLY!!! SHE’S GONNA WATCH MY SHOW!!!

You can’t hide — bro! — It’ll show all your fans — THE REAL YOU.

Oh? You think so?

I think so………. maybe the makeup is melting a little, but… that’s not even the main part of it… the real you — inside — not the outside — the real you… the FEAR in your face — they’ll catch that in 4K on camera!

Oh….? (Really contemplating whether or not this is a good idea….)

MMmm-hmmm… I’m so glad no cameras were around when “I” did it…!

I’m gonna google it and have a look… maybe there’s lots of YouTube videos by now…

Okay you do that… I’ve shared my experience… I wouldn’t really want to do it again, but I’m glad I did it once…

(Smiling) (Slight chuckles)…

Okay baby, you go… hyper-focus on that for a little while…

(Chuckling)… (Sheepish grin)… I love you!

I love you too… xoxoxox