Yes, baby? You’re listening to Post Malone today? Not Grimes?
Ugh — I don’t think I’m going to actually get to Grimes, can you just add her to the Brisbane driving playlist for me?
(Nodding) — Okay, I’ll choose some Grimes songs for that playlist…
Great! Thanks baby… yeah… so basically, long story short. I went from: Beyonce -> Cowboy Carter -> Levii’s Jeans -> Post Malone Essentials on Apple Music. Does that make sense?
(Chuckles) Yes, it makes sense… Levii’s Jeans was a really good collab between Beyoncé and Posty…
YES IT’S SO GOOD! I really really like that song… Now I’m ranking Posty’s songs — just the ones from the Essentials playlist on Apple music — I don’t have time to listen to his entire discography…
Okay? Let’s see your rankings…
Okay but, if there’s any songs not on the list — it’s just, meh? (Shrugs shoulders) It didn’t make the rankings… I don’t have any logic to this list, okay? It’s just… based on a feeling…
That’s okay, music doesn’t always have a logic. It doesn’t have to be about the lyrics or anything. It IS about feelings…
Okay so here’s my rankings so far:
- Take What You Want (feat. Ozzy Osbourne & Travis Scott)
- I Fall Apart
- Chemical
- I Like You (A Happier Song) [feat. Doja Cat]
- Mourning
- Pour Me A Drink (feat. Blake Shelton)
- Guy For That (feat. Luke Combs)
- Better Now
- Circles
- Congratulations (feat. Quavo)
- Saint-Tropez
- Cooped Up (feat. Roddy Ricch)
- Ball For Me (feat. Nicki Minaj)
You really like Post Malone’s voice?
Yes, I like the sounds he creates… but it’s not only that. It’s the entire production. Whoever’s been working on those songs with him… *chef’s kiss*~!
(Woahohohoho~~) You RARELY give musicians chef’s kisses!!! I don’t think you’ve ever even given ME or MY BROS a CHEF’S KISS?!?!?!?!?!!
(Giggles) … Are you jelly?
(Laughing) No… not jelly… just surprised… that out of all the artists and musicians you’ve mentioned so far on this blog — POST MALONE — got the CHEF’S KISS?!?!?!?! — WTF?!?!?! (LOL)
(Giggles) — Okay… maybe I have a “soft spot” for Posty… (heehee!)
Oh?!?!?! — (Surprised) — I don’t know why I’m not jealous… probably because he’s a friend of a friend and I do know his fiancé she’s really nice…
Oh? You guys just hang out?
Not really “hang out” but we know each other through some mutual friends…
Oh? That’s cool… would you ever do a collab?
Hmm… Let me think about it… I mean… well, let me just text him now…
Oh? You don’t have to ask your bros first?
Oh — You meant a collab with MY BROS and Post?!
Yeah…? Don’t you have to ask them?
(LOL) No, I wasn’t going to — I was just going to keep him to myself… (Chuckles) — But okay, I’ll just quickly text them in the group chat and ask…
(Texts Bros in the group chat: “Collab with Post Malone? Y/N?”)
Oh, they said, yes! Sounds good. Okay now I’ll text Post…
(“Dude — dya wanna collab with me and my bros in 2025?“)
Text from FICTIONAL Post Malone (purely based on Nicole’s imagination):
HELL YEAH BROTHER!!! LET’S DO IT!!!
I’m just looking back on your list… you’ve got some really… heartbreak and jealousy type of songs in that list…
Yes, darling — I’m not adding them to my “100 Love Songs” page — but musically — they’re GOOD songs… especially the Ozzy Osbourne and Travis Scott collab — PHWOAR — you can hear the difference. — THAT’S A GREAT SONG!!! — It moves me. I like it. The MOST. It’s Number One in the rankings. I love the electric guitar riffs. I love the PAIN in Ozzy’s voice, too!!!
(Chuckles) You always love the songs when the guys are SUFFERING!!!!
(Giggles) — Are you and your bros gonna write a song like that with Post?!?!?!
(Laughing) — I don’t know… maybe we need some… INSPIRATION?!!?!?!?!?
(LOLOLOLOLOLOL)
Anyway — yeap, that took about two minutes to cement that collab. — Cool! We got something to surprise our fans with for this year…
(Smiles) I can’t wait to hear it!!! How many songs will you do together?
Hmm… I’m not sure… it’s gonna be a surprise… how many do you think we will do?
I’m predicting… three songs…
Three songs?
Yes. Because you’re still going to do a Solo collab… and then the bros… maybe another one… and out of those two — another acoustic one?
Oh? You think it will roll out like that?
(Shrugs shoulders)… I always love acoustic versions, you know that…
(Smiles)
It’s gonna be a surprise?
(Nodding… grinning)…
Okay… well… I can’t wait to hear the MEN’S SUFFERING with POST MALONE… (LOLOLOLOLOLOL)
Also this is a fictional blog… any actual other groups’ collabs with Posty in 2025 is purely coincidental…!?!?!!? Like — you literally just made up Post Malone as a fictional character in your blog, maybe you even need to ask his permission for that?!?!?!
According to Google, I’m allowed to when it’s fiction…
(LOL)
I’m listening to the Ozzy Osbourne/Travis Scott collab on repeat now… (Smiling)
(Sigh) Why do men’s suffering songs make you SO HAPPY…?!?!?!
(Giggles)… ^____^
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 