Video Call: She’s having breakfast, he’s at the gym
Why are you looking at me like that? What are you thinking about…?
I’m thinking… do you really want kids? I’m not sure if you really want kids…
Well… I think it’s more like — I’m emotionally prepared — if I fall pregnant… let’s say, accidentally, naturally — then I’m keeping the baby. — At my age, yes, I’m keeping the baby…
Okay but that doesn’t mean you “want” kids — it just means you’re going to accept your fate if you fall pregnant and you’re keeping the baby…
Isn’t there a nicer way to say this? Saying that I do want kids would be a much nicer way to say this… What if we really have kids and they read this blog one day?!
You think if we have kids and they’re going to be able to sit through reading the Poems2No1…?
(Chuckles) Okay fine — if we have kids one day, they’re NEVER going to read this blog!
(Shaking his head) Never… ever…
But wouldn’t they be able to get summaries from their friends?
Doesn’t matter — that’s not the same as actually reading it. Also — we don’t have any kids! These are all hypotheticals right now… let’s get back to deciding whether or not we actually WANT kids…?
(Sigh) — Do you want to have to wear a condom for the rest of our lives?!
(Weird expression) It’s not gonna be like that “for the rest of our lives” — maybe another ten, fifteen years — maximum?!?!!
I don’t know… I just meant… every time?! You want to have to wear protection EVERY TIME?!?!?!
Do I have to, though?!?! Aren’t there other ways?!?!?!!?
(Sigh) Yes and no…
(Puzzled)…
I don’t want to the take the pill…
Why not…? (I’m not trying to attack you but I’m just curious!)
Because — I’ve been offered it before by a GP — and they explained the side effects. I don’t want the side effects.
But you don’t even know if you’re going to have the side effects. They give those warnings with every medication — you should see MY list of side effects with what I’m taking…
I thought you weren’t on any medications — you don’t have MDPD, you don’t have ADHD, you’re neurotypical…
Yes, that’s true — but also — for a fictional blog — perhaps I am also taking medications for all of those things…
(Sigh) Okay, whatever. Anyway… I don’t want to take the pill! There’s a risk of high blood pressure. I have family history of high blood pressure, which makes the risk even higher for me.
Oh…? (First time learning this)… Really…?
(Nodding) Yes…
I didn’t know that…
Yes — I have to be careful about high blood pressure, high cholesterol — things like that… I don’t want to take the pill…
Okay… okay, fine I won’t push you about taking the pill…
Thank you…
Do you want me to get a vasectomy?
You always ask this and my answer is always, NO!
Right… right, right, right… because — (sigh) — you’re still open to falling pregnant naturally… out of some… immaculate miracle…
YES! — Like — why do we have to decide, yes or no? Let’s just… be ourselves… let things flow…
Because sometimes when you let things flow — BABIES will POP OUT completely UNEXPECTEDLY!!!
(Laughing)
I don’t mind wearing a condom. It’s fine, I can just wear one every time.
(Big sigh) — That’s… I don’t think that’s realistic…
(Thinking about this some more)….
IT’S NOT REALISTIC. NOT FOR US… COME ON…
(Still thinking about this)…
(Deep sighs) Okay how about this — because I have the period tracking app. I’m definitely quite predictable — we can see my ovulation days — just wear a condom during the ovulation days…
Oh?
Yeah — That’s how babies work. It’s USUALLY just during the ovulation days…
What do you mean by “usually” — aren’t we talking about science?!
(Laughing) — Yes, my dear, we’re talking about science — and the science also shows — statistically — it’s very rare — but sometimes — SOMETIMES — the sperm survives waaaayyyy longer than what the textbooks are telling everybody!!! (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)
(Laughing and wide-eyed)… WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
(Giggling and nodding) Yes… that happens… IT JUST HAPPENS!!! Not all the time — but there’s been documented cases…. (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)
(Raising one eyebrow)…. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! The sperm fucking SURVIVES?!?!?! Like — by ITSELF?!?!?!?! — FOR DAYS AND DAYS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
(ROFLMAO~~~~~~~~~~~~~)
(Still trying to wrap his 165 IQ head around this!) … I’m gonna go google this… I don’t fully trust everything that you’re saying on this blog — this HAS to be the fictional part of it…
Okay darling, you do that. You go google it — your 165 IQ brain will find a way to research it and know for sure… (Chuckling) (This is hilarious!!!)
(Sigh) Okay so anyway — compromise — condoms during ovulation days?
(Nodding) Yeah… I think I can do that… I think I’m okay with that…
(BIG SMILES) — I’m feeling so much more optimistic about us right now…
(Laughing)…
I just wanna kiss you right now through this video screen!!!
Oh Hunny Bunny… we’re gonna have another fuckin’ conversation another day about what RETIREMENT HOME OR VILLAGE we want to stay in because we’re not gonna have a fuckin’ NEXT GENERATION to take care of us!!! Okay!!?!?!? That’s another day’s conversation!!!
(Smiling, nodding) I’m way ahead of you on those thoughts already, baby!!!
(LOL) Well… I’m not ready to go there yet… okay… today we’ve decided on this… condoms during ovulation days — okay?!
(Nodding) Okay… come kiss me on the screen!!!
Okay fine… xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxxx
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 