Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

(He kisses her slowly, and gently… can’t really describe it properly)…

That was nice… and… unexpected…?

It was?

Yeah… wow… I feel so loved… (smiles)

I haven’t kissed you like that before? I thought I’ve always been gentle?

Yeah… you have but… not that gentle… that was… gentle on another level…

It was? You’ve never been kissed like that before?

(Shaking her head) No… I don’t think so… I can’t think of any situation… the closest I may have come to in my imagination — maybe — maybe I saw someone do it to someone else in a romantic movie, once? I don’t know…

Do you think it’s too feminine? Is it more like kissing a girl?

(Chuckles) How would I know?! I’ve never kissed a girl!

Oh yeah… hmm…

But… I don’t think it’s too feminine… Actually, I think it takes a strong masculine to give such gentle loving… it takes a man really, truly secure in his own masculinity to… control his own power… do you get what I mean?

(Nodding) (Accepting)…

(Deep sighs) — We’re not making love yet — (He wants to talk about some other stuff)…

Okay…? (So that wasn’t foreplay?!)

I’ve been thinking about how… you said you’re neurodivergent… I’m neurotypical… many people might even think — that’s not fair — the guy, already the power dynamics are skewed, and then on top of that — a cognitive advantage as well… and, plus, you even know I have a higher IQ…

Okay… yes… but…

??? (Why is there a but?)

We don’t know — we don’t have a measurement — for my emotional intelligence.

We don’t?

Not really?! I mean — should we ask Google?! Should we do more tests?! Is that even necessary?! I think it’s pretty OBVIOUS that I’m more emotionally intelligent than you!?!?

(Chuckles) You think so?

(Nodding) I think so… I mean — by my 30s, my late-30s, yes… maybe I wasn’t before… but by now, by this age… yes, I think so…

(Thinking about this)… Is it a guy thing?

(Shrugs shoulders) Maybe…? I mean — I guess if you survey most couples — maybe 80~90% of them would say the woman in the relationship is seemingly more emotionally intelligent?! Whether it’s from societal and cultural conditioning or biological — it doesn’t seem to matter, it just seems to be… the way most women are programmed and functioning?

(Chuckles) Yeah… I can see how you’re coming to those conclusions…

So you don’t agree with the Autism forums? I’ve scrolled through them — gosh, some of those comments are absolutely brutal.

(Sigh) Yeah… I know what they talk about… I’ve scrolled through them before… in my own search for a diagnosis, I’ve scrolled through them… I don’t think you need to take them personally, though… neurodivergent people don’t really mean to “attack” like that — it’s not meant to be taken personal… they’re trying to make sense of it for themselves…

Are there any books that you’ve read? Anything that I can start reading?

Hmmm… (Thinking about this)… Let me quickly google… cos yes, I’ve read some but I can’t even remember any outstanding titles…

• Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome — by Rudy Simone (2010)
• But you don’t look autistic at all — by Bianca Toeps (2020) — I haven’t read it, but it looks interesting…
• Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum, Second Edition: Understanding Life Experiences from Early Childhood to Old Age — Sarah Hendrickx (2024)
• Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism — Barb Cooks and Dr Michelle Garnett, eds. (2018)

Actually the only one I’ve read is Aspergirls, I haven’t read the others but they look… relevant? For you…? To try and grasp and understand this…?

You thought you had Asperger’s Syndrome?

I wasn’t sure… the psychologist said, “Definitely not” — so keep that in mind!

I don’t think you do, either…?

Well, I haven’t gotten a second opinion…

I’m giving you my second opinion — I don’t think you have Asperger’s…

But when I read their experiences and books, I relate to them…

You do?

(Nodding) Yes… I find it relatable…

(Thinking about this)… I still don’t think you have it…

Okay, well, you said you wanted some books to read — these are my suggestions. As a starting point. Maybe you’ll find something else along the way as you read some more…

Okay… thanks… I’ll start with those…

You know what else I think is interesting?

(Shaking his head) I don’t know, what?

I think it’s possible some of your fans — especially the ones in fan calls — might even be on the spectrum as well…

Oh?! (Puzzled) — You really think so?

(Nodding) I think so… it’s been at the back of my mind for some time now…

Why do you think so?

Because… sometimes people with autism or on the spectrum — even if extremely high functioning — can tend to “latch on” to their “special interests” — and in this case, it’s being your fans… YOU — your characters — are THEIR “special interests” —

Oh… (realisations…)…………..

And I think that… maybe you have moments of feeling unmotivated…

(YES…. I 100% DO TODAY……..)

And, well, if you think about it… like, I know you’re “unimpressed” with the adulation… it just doesn’t impress you at all. You’re numb to the love from your fans. But — if you think of it as a case study, for your own research…

So I can talk to my fans and see if I can figure out whether or not the person I’m talking to is neurodivergent or neurotypical and I wouldn’t have any confirmation but it’ll be at the back of my mind and I’m conducting my own analysis and assessment and it’s all in relation to a comparison with you — they’re a litmus test for neurodivergence.

(Chuckles) Yes, baby — see? Your 165 IQ already got it… I barely even finished my sentence!

(Really thinking this through… adding books to shopping cart)…

It’s interesting that most of your fans are female, too — so it’s like — from what I’ve read, Autism, Asperger’s, neurodivergence — it can be severely under-diagnosed… we slip through the cracks, society just… lets us be shy, be a little quirky, introverted… we just slip through the cracks… does that make sense?

Yes — but I’m still not agreeing with your self-diagnosis. I don’t think you have Autism or Asperger’s at all.

Okay then — neurodivergence.

Neurodivergence I can agree with…

High-functioning neurodivergence…

SUPER-high-functioning neurodivergence!

Okay?!

Hmmm… (Still thinking)…

Let me know in person, after you’ve read the books, what you really think about it…

(Nodding)… (Wanting to kiss her, but also — not sure now — do we kiss after this kind of discussion?!)

You want to kiss me right now, don’t you?

(Sheepish grin) Am I… allowed to? (Chuckles)

Yes… Baby… you can kiss me gently, just like you did before, after we’ve had one of these types of discussions…

(Big sigh of relief)… Okay, I’m going in…!

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxxx