What are you doing today? It’s a public holiday, isn’t it?
Yes it’s a public holiday… I just browsed some YouTube whilst eating breakfast…
What did you watch?
Hot Ones…
Which episode?
The recent one with Bad Bunny.
Was it good?
(Shrugs shoulders) It was okay… but he kept going into… his language? And then you have to read the subtitles…
You don’t like reading subtitles —
Yeah I prefer not to. I prefer being able to LISTEN to the episode…
What else did you watch?
Then I watched “Hot Ones Versus” with the Squid Games Uncles…
The Squid Games UNCLES?!?!
Yeah! I don’t know their names — some Korean names?! — Those older guys on Squid Games.
(Chuckling) You think of them as the “Squid Games Uncles” — ?
Yeah?! Why not?! I don’t know them from any other shows?!?!?!
(ROFLMAO!!!!!!)
What?!?!?!
They’re very FAMOUS… in Korea!!!
SO?!?!?! I don’t know them?!!!? I’m not Korean?!?!?! I’ve watched Squid Games — they just remind me of Uncles… I actually was watching the Hot Ones Versus episode thinking, “Hmm… I wonder if Common Name is gonna age like that.,.. am I marrying a KOREAN UNCLE?!?! Will he be like this when we’re in our 50s?!?! Am I making LOVE to an older guy like THESE GUYS?!?!?!”
BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA……………….
(Laughing) Right?!?!?! Like — IS THAT HOW YOU’RE GOING TO AGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
(Wiping away tears from laughter)… Maybe I’m gonna look like one of them… but with… blonde hair?!?!!?
(LOLOLOL) Nooooo… I want you to age naturally! Just let your hair go grey and then white!!!
(Deep breaths) Why?! I think I’m going to lose a lot of contracts if I do that.
No you won’t!!! It’ll look DISTINGUISHED. You’ll look like “a distinguished gentleman!”
(Smiles) What else did you enjoy about these episodes?
Bad Bunny was interesting… like I really don’t know that much about Puerto Pico? I don’t even know that much about his music…
You don’t listen to Bad Bunny?
I don’t think so? I couldn’t name you even one song. I was watching the whole episode wondering if Sean Evans is going to ask him about KENDALL JENNER and then — he didn’t ask him anything about her!!! He didn’t ask him ANY personal questions!!! By the end of the episode I just felt like, “Oh well… they kept that private…”
(Pfftt~~~ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)
You only clicked on “Bad Bunny” Hot Ones episode to see if there was any GOSSIP about Kendall Jenner.
(Staring matter-of-factly)… Of… COURSE?!?!?! Why would I care about Bad Bunny for any other reason?!!?!? Of course it’s only in relation to the gossip with KENDALL JENNER!!!
Are you going to start listening to Bad Bunny’s music after watching this episode?
(Shaking head) No… I don’t speak… Bad Bunny’s language…
It’s Spanish. He speaks Spanish. You’re embarrassed to get that wrong so you keep saying “Bad Bunny’s language” —
Yeah?! Well…?! I don’t know??!?! Sometimes I get confused with Spanish and the other South American languages?!?!?
Puerto Rico’s not in South America…
(Slow-blinking)… (Googling this)….
TYPING:
“Where… is… Puerto… Rico?”
(LAUGH-CRYING… at her need to google… those exact words…!!!)
What?!?!?! (Exclaiming at the Google result)
What?!?!?! — ?!?!?!
I can’t tell where it is from the Google answer!
What do you mean?!!?
It’s just a map of a country in the middle of the ocean?!!?!?!?
(DEAD. HE’S LITERALLY DEAD)………….
Wait let me expand this map in a new tab… (expanding)… Wait, so it’s like, near the Virgin Islands? The “US Virgin Islands” — ?!?!
(Nodding and still wiping away laughter-tears)… (Trying to compose himself)…
So that’s NOT South America?!?!?!?!
(Still laughing) Does it even LOOK LIKE it’s IN South America?!?!?!?!?!!
I don’t know!!! It’s like in the MIDDLE??!!? To the SIDE?!?!?! Of North and SOUTH America?!?!?!?!?!!
(More laugh-crying)……………….
(Finally composing himself)
That’s NOT South America!!!
Why!?!?! But MEXICO is THERE!!! Isn’t MEXICO a part of SOUTH AMERICA, TOO?!?!?!!?!?
(WAILING-LAUGHTER…………………… ALMOST “DRY” LAUGHTER WITH TEARS………..)
Go ask GOOGLE:
(She Googles)…
TYPING:
is mexico technically south america?
GOOGLE:
No, Mexico is not considered part of South America; it is geographically located in North America, specifically in the southern portion of the continent.
What?!!?!?!
(He’s still laughing and wiping away tears)
How is it NOT “South America” — it’s to the SOUTH of AMERICA?!?!?!!?
(HE. JUST. DIED. IN THE WAY GEN-Z USES THE WORD FOR LAUGHTER IN “DEAD” — HE’S DEAD).
Well… What is Puerto Rico?!?!?! Let me GOOGLE this…!!!
TYPING:
is puerto rico technically a part of south america?
GOOGLE:
Historically, Puerto Rico was never considered part of Latin America because it was and remains to this day as part of the United States and is not an independent nation. Puerto Ricans by birth is granted U.S. citizenship and can freely travel and work in any of the 50 states.
Oh….
(Finally composing himself and wiping away the final tears)………… You didn’t KNOW this?!?!!?!
(Shaking head) How would I know this?!!? I never did Geography in high school?!?!!?!
(MORE LAUGHTER)…
…
…
…
Okay, can we get back to talking about Hot Ones?
(Smiling) (Kissing her on her cheeks) I love you… tell more about Hot Ones…
Well… I think it’ll be cool if you do it one day…
You think so?
Yeah! I think it’ll be so funny…
What about Hot Ones versus? Maybe me and a bro could do that instead?
Mmm… to be honest… I can’t think of any “iconic” Hot Ones versus episodes… even the Squid Games Uncles weren’t THAT FUNNY… I don’t know, I think Hot Ones itself has the most iconic episodes…
Which were the “most iconic” episodes?
In my opinion?
(Nodding) Yes… of course I want to know about YOUR opinion!
(Thinking)… (About to start the ranking)…
- Funniest of All Time = Pete Davidson
- Funniest in a really crazy scary way = Conan O’Brien
- Funny in a mass-market funny haha way = Gordon Ramsay
Honourable Mentions: Kevin Hart, Bobby Lee…
Bobby Lee?!
Oh, Bobby Lee was disgusting. Don’t EVER do what Bobby Lee did!!!!
(Shocked) But… you laughed…?!?!!
(Nodding) Yes, I was laughing!!! But your characters COULD NEVER. Not in a million years!!!!!!!!! And I wouldn’t even want “The Real You” to do it either!!! Nope, nope, nope! Do NOT ever do what Bobby Lee did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Chuckling)… Now I have to go look up that episode…………
DON’T. EVER!!! DO IT!!! IF YOU EVER GO ON HOT ONES, OR HOT ONES VERSUS — DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 