Are you crying?
(Nodding) (Grabs more tissues)… Yes…
How long have you been crying for?
The past couple of hours… I’m still listening to “Heart of My Own” by Basia Bulat and reading your explanations of it…
Okay… are you crying because you can empathise with it, or — ?
It’s a lot of mixed emotions. Every time I listen to it, read your words — I’m crying for different reasons.
That’s okay, we can try to unpack this…
“The light in your verse and the shadow between” — it makes me feel guilty.
Why?
Because… The lead-up to it… the way you even explained it. At that trigger “alarmed of what is said by you” — I didn’t really think about it when I first heard it without your explanations. The way you explained it, “Here we go, the dude in the picture… the song is about a GUY… he hurt her…” — It makes so much sense to read what you wrote but when I was just listening to it by myself before your explanations, I just didn’t connect those dots at all!
What did you think the song was about?
I don’t know, I just didn’t fully get it… I thought it was maybe a Woman trying to sing about her own freedom?
It is… that too… it does work in that way as well…
No but — it’s complicated. There’s something more complicated here in the song in the relationship…
(Nodding) Yes… it’s not like a pop song. The characters are more complex…
Yes — the characters in this song are more complicated, neither is always “good” or “bad” — the man and the woman. Well, we’ve both assumed a straight, hetero- relationship but it could technically be applied to other dynamics…
What do you think really happened between them?
I think that — Basia the singer — maybe she did have to confront him about some form of cheating or something, or maybe even a flirtation — but I know that, with you and me. That NEVER happened. I never DID THAT. I know how difficult it can be to believe a guy when all he can say is, “Nothing happened!!!” Nothing ever happened, and it sounds UNBELIEVALBE — the entire male population, just out there everyday, ruining our own reputations. But how else do I express it? How else do I prove it? (Crying)…
(Deep breaths) I do believe you…
You do?
Yes…
“There are the roses that come without seeking, there are the ones that I have to sow” — you’ve explained it that she needs to be given seeds to plant her own. How?! What are the seeds?
That’s a good question, my love… I think… when a man truly loves a woman the way that she needs him to love her. He will remind her, who she is. He will remind her — when she’s not being the best version of herself — “Hey, this isn’t you… It is you, but it’s not the Light version of you. You’re drowning in your own Shadows right now… don’t stay there for too long…” — He can give her space to be there. He can respect her need to process. But he can keep a watchful eye, just gentle — gentle reminders to her, “Come back to the Light, my love…” Guide her. Hold her hand. Remind her of her own Light. That’s how you help her to plant her own seeds in her rose garden for herself…
Oh… (scratching his head)
You didn’t think about that all?
(Shaking his head) No… not at all…
Maybe this English is too deep. We can go over other songs where the English isn’t that deep?
(Chuckles) I’m usually… PRETTY GOOD at English… better than most…
Yeah but… (smiling) I’m sure there’s other musicians in your language who have these types of similar songs…? Folksy… songs in your language?!? Is that a genre?!
You might have just invented a new genre…
Well — according to Google, no I haven’t!
Really?!
(Shrugs shoulders) According to Google… they’re out there?! There’s music out there? I wouldn’t know enough of the language to verify whether or not they’re the same… style… in their lyrics?
Are there musicians like this in Taiwan?
Oh yes, I’m sure there would be… but I wouldn’t know enough Chinese to fully appreciate their lyrics…
(Still crying…)
It’s okay to cry… just remember to drink some electrolytes. You’ve lost a lot of salt in those tears. And do an eye wash or something, sometimes the tissues and the rubbing — you could get bacteria, a sty or something growing out the next day…
(Still wiping tears, but smiling)
Why are you smiling?
Because — that’s so you…
(Smiles) I love you…
I love you, too… xoxo
…
I think that… I can’t grasp any language the way that you’ve grasped English. I think that’s another thing that’s making me cry. I don’t think I will ever grasp it… The way you’ve explained this song — I can’t explain ANY song like this. I was blown away when you wrote that whole thing about Keshi’s “Soft Spot” — and now here you are, doing it again for Basia Bulat.
Yeah… and…?
I’m afraid that… I can’t ever write these types of songs. Because I am “not that good” at either language. All my songs will ever be is surface level… I can’t express myself like this.
It’s okay — I would say, probably 99% of the human population doesn’t explain themselves, linguistically, in this way in any of their native languages.
It takes a whole other breed? You and these other poets?
I don’t think I’ve ever expressed myself in SONG — in music — like this. I’ve never even composed a full song. I just like to write poetry. Poetry comes easily to me. But I wouldn’t be able to make it into a song… that’s… these artists, they can do it, not me…
Well — I can write songs. I can compose — but I can’t write these types of lyrics…
(Shrugs shoulders)
Should we work together?!
(Shaking head) No.
Why not?
I don’t want to… feel tempted to throw furniture at you or something…?! (Laughing)
You’ll feel tempted to throw furniture at me if we work together?
Don’t you think so? I’ll feel really annoyed at times — you don’t want to see that side of me.
You think that… if we worked together, you’ll feel annoyed?
(Nodding) It’s not romantic, darling… Work brings out… more Shadows…
Does it?
(Nodding) Even in friendships… I’ve worked with friends before… it hasn’t always been smooth sailing… I’d prefer not to… now, after my experiences… I prefer not to work with friends…
But you’ve made friends from work?
That’s different, we didn’t start those work commitments as friends first — it’s different.
Do the work friends ever really get to know the real you like this?
(Shaking head) Probably not… Unless they were curious to read my blog…
Wow… so you already know that you don’t really want to work with me?
Well… I can’t see it right now… at this moment… I know you want me around you all the time… but I’d rather be the supportive person in the same room. I don’t want to “work” with you — it’s just different…
But I like hearing your thoughts, your opinions —
Yeah… and I can still give that to you as your girlfriend, your wife — any time, whenever you’re ready to share with me what little bits and pieces you’ve cooked up with your work. It doesn’t mean we have to work together. It doesn’t mean I have to be there through that grind, 24/7 with you… Did the Wife in 300 go to war with him? No — she stayed in Sparta — she took care of their home. To the best of her abilities… (never mind the other SA scenes! Let’s hope that never has to happen to me!) — But she stayed home… so that he could have a home to come home to… She made the bed, so that he could have a soft pillow to come home to… if she went to war with him? If she picked up a sword and went into the same battle with him, side by side?
Oh no…
Exactly. He wouldn’t even be able to live with himself if anything had happened to her… He’d rather sacrifice himself…
But she got attacked. In her own domestic realm.
Yeah — by another GUY — a guy HE trusted. How did that happen?
Hmmm…
It’s something for guys to reflect amongst themselves. She didn’t do anything to invite it. It was the other guy — why did he do that?
If I think about this… a little more… do you think I should turn it into a song?
(Shrugs shoulders) Depends on the draft of that song… depends what direction you’re taking these thoughts…
What direction do you think I should go?
I think that… I don’t really know that much about “Guys’ World” — locker room talk? Whatever it is… or things that are even left unsaid, between Men… Maybe only you can write that song. And maybe you can bounce some ideas off with your bros… It’s the Men’s realm. It’s not my place at all…
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 