Millennial Man: I forced him to break up with you.
Me: Who’s talking right now?! What?! Huh?!
Millennial Man: I forced Trainwreck to break up with you. He wasn’t good enough. He was a little shit. I forced him to break up with you. I said to him, “You need to break up with her. She doesn’t deserve this. — Break up with her and go work on yourself. Don’t ever try to get back into her life until you’re ready to treat her right.”
Me: You said that? How? How did you get to him back in 2007? Did you time travel?! Are you a time traveller?! I’m so confused… And are you not, the same “Millennial Man” that I keep referring to as my Husband in all these writings?
Millennial Man: I am time travelling right now, yes. And I did back then, yes. He looked in the mirror and I came through in his own reflection. When Trainwreck looked into his own eyes, no contact lenses, I came through and said, “Break up with her. She doesn’t deserve this. She deserves SO MUCH BETTER. You’re a Trainwreck. Don’t you dare take her down with you. Break up with her.” And then he punched the mirror. Knuckles bleeding. It’s very subtle, but the scars are there.
Me: But what about now?! Whilst we are apart for the first half of 2025… Is he still not you yet? Still not the Millennial Man?
Millennial Man: Right now, he is quasi-Millennial Man. He is not Millennial Man… yet.
Me: Quasi?! Like Quasimodo?!?!?!
Millennial Man: No, Quasi- like “semi-” like, “almost-” — He’s almost there, but not yet. Some days he is more Millennial Man than others. Then there’ll be days of regression — back to the trainwreck, or semi-trainwreck. It never gets as bad as 2007 trainwreck, but there’s still some off days… there’s some semi-trainwreck days, yet.
Actually, he is a bit like Quasimodo sometimes as well. You can take both meanings.
Me: So he’s evolving from The Brute, he is now Quasimodo…
Millennial Man: No… we’re progressing at a faster trajectory than most people would expect. He’s… about 75% Millennial Man. We’re almost there…
Me: Are you the Millennial Man wearing black clothing with an almost 90% black wardrobe when you’re with me?
Millennial Man: (Nodding) (Smiling) Yes.
Me: With blonde hair? Or…?
Millennial Man: 90% of the time blonde hair.
Me: Why 90%?
Millennial Man: Because of your rankings.
Me: (Giggles)
Millennial Man: That was very surprising to Quasi… when he first read it. He was, a little stunned. A little, in shock…
Me: (Giggles) Why?!?!!?!
Millennial Man: It just never occurred to him. Out of all his looks, out of all his characters. He didn’t even think about that Fashion Magazine. — Sure, there was lots of fan feedback. A fan favourite. But he never took that to mean anything. Fans love everything. He didn’t see it as a “stand out” look for him. — It was almost, too simple. When the photographers and stylists suggested it, he almost scrapped the idea. He thought, “Really?! It’s so simple. Just a black suit?! Isn’t that kind of… boring?”
Me: (Deep breaths) It was not boring… (Smiling)
Millennial Man: (Smiles back) This is so nice to talk to my wife before she realises how impossible it will be for her to NOT be my wife. Because Quasi is on a totally, fully determined trajectory. You won’t be able to resist him, when he presents himself… as me. (Smiles)
Me: (Admiring my future husband)
Millennial Man: Why do you think black clothing works so well? Honestly?
Me: I’m not that much of a colour stylist, but I think… black just sort of… balances things out? Especially with Asian skin tones — it doesn’t really matter if you have a cool or warm undertone. Doesn’t matter if you didn’t get enough sleep. Whatever makeup look you’ve decided for the day — or even if you chose a hair colour that normally would be clashing for the skin tone. Black absorbs any discolouration — it’s subtle — but once the eye is trained to see it, you can see it.
Millennial Man: And this is mostly with Asians?
Me: Yes…? I haven’t taken that much notice with other races, so I guess I’ve thought about it for my own skin tone the most… So yeah, from my experiences in trying to style myself and helping other friends with their wardrobe styles… mostly… North-East Asians? I guess? If we had to group them all together… maybe South-East as well… but generally… the more “yellow” skin as typically referred to… because there is “yellow” skin, but also with either cool or warm undertones. When there is too much warmth, there is a redness but the black absorbs the redness. When there is too much cool undertones, it needs more colour, and the black absorbs the “white light” of the cool undertones. Perhaps even the veiny colours that we don’t realise is in our bodies sometimes, like a light green or blue through our blood circulatory system. So the black absorbs that too, bringing more natural warmth to a skin tone that would otherwise have looked more ghostly or sickly…
Millennial Man: This is really interesting information… did you learn this somewhere?
Me: I’m not sure… I did a short course in fashion styling, but now I’m not sure if this was from that short course at all or if it’s just… randomly popped into my head like the rest of all my random musings…
Also — Asians (North-East?! I don’t know) generally are taught not to wear too much black. Or is this just Taiwanese culture? I’m not sure. But generally — black is not often worn, because it reminds people of funerals. That’s why an “Asian gangster” would wear black more often, stereotypically. So it’s also… kind of… that… but not really. I’m not seeing the black clothing looks thinking about funerals.
Millennial Man: We are having a funeral. We’re having a funeral for Trainwreck. He’s gone. He’s not allowed in our love bubble. He pops up from time to time for comedy effects with the characters — that’s all scripted. He’s not allowed in our real life. You and me, our marriage, our dating, our anything — Trainwreck’s gone. For good. I’ll wear black to symbolise his funeral. I’m happy to do that for you.
Me: Um, I don’t “need” you to do that for me… but if you’re happy to do that… for you…?
Millennial Man: Yes, I’m happy to do that, for me… and you…
Me: Oh my gosh, I love you so much! I can’t wait to MEET YOU…
Millennial Man: (Smiling) Where I am right now. You’re already my other half. Legally. You’re my wife. My emergency contact. The mother of our children. It’s so good… I love it here, it’s so good…
Me: Do the characters still have a colourful wardrobe?
Millennial Man: (Nodding) Yes… I don’t even get much of a say. The stylists will insist on a colourful wardrobe. But when it’s you and me. In my own private house, my own private apartment, my wardrobe that I get to buy for myself — 90% black. It’s my choice.
Me: I thought it would be black, white and grey? That 90%?
Millennial Man: That’s probably the other 5% — whites and greys… and then actual other colours in the rest of the 5%.
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 