What gossip? Is it about us?!
No, not about us… but… there’s definitely a “WAG” on one of your bros’ Instagrams, isn’t there? (Peering)
NO?!?!!? There most definitely is NOT a “wife” or “girlfriend” on there! What have you been scrolling tonight?!?!!?
“There’s definitely a WAG on one of your bros’ Instagram” fan theories…
That’s absolutely not true. I can tell you right now. 100% not true.
Really?! But she seems so cute! So pretty! Like she could definitely be the real girlfriend, fiancé or wife…
I don’t know who you’re talking about, and also — no. They’re definitely NOT the “real” girlfriend, or fiancé, or wife on there. It’s not possible. WHERE are you reading these theories?!
It doesn’t even matter where I’m reading it, it’s multi-platform rumours. It’s everywhere!!!
Well it’s NOT. TRUE. It would never be true. It’s absolutely not true.
Why wouldn’t it be true?
Would “I” ever put “YOU” on “MY” Instagram?! The official, verified one?! Never. It’s not happening.
Why not?
Because of the risk of any crazy psycho fans. It’s not happening.
But… what about PR relationships?
That’s different.
It is?
Yes — that’s a PR relationship. That’s totally different. The guys who are not in PR relationships — their wives or girlfriends are NOT on their Instagram. Ever. And you’ll never be on mine!
What about when we have the Vogue wedding feature…
That’s different again!
How?!?!?!
Because this is a fictional blog! And of course it doesn’t make sense!!! It will be different. You’re still not going on my characters’ Instagram when that happens.
Why?!
Because of the CRAZY PSYCHO FANS.
Are there still crazy psycho fans, though? Didn’t you say you’re a geriatric genre star by now?!
Yes… but… there’s always a risk that a “normal” fan has a brain worm and turns into a crazy psycho fan. Gets triggered by something on Instagram for whatever reason… that’s not happening.
Oh… are you… SURE….?
Okay — maybe I’m not even sure about other artists in this genre. But overall — as far as I know — amongst my bros — there’s definitely no “WAG” out there on their Instagrams. No way.
Hmm… what about female stars in your genre? Are there any… what’s a male equivalent of a “WAG” –?
Boyfriends And Husbands — BAH?!!?!?
(Laughing)
(Chuckles) — NO. There’s no BAHs out there!!! I don’t know, actually. You’ll have to ask them. But I doubt it. I highly, highly doubt it.
Except for the PR relationships.
Yeah. That’s different.
But is there real love in the PR relationships?
Sometimes…? I guess…?
You think so?
(Nodding) Sometimes people just fall in love out of circumstance… I’ve seen that happen with some PR relationships. They didn’t actually expect it…
Oh?!?!?!
Yeah but it’s very rare…
So how are all the other WAGs putting up with all these fan theories about pretty girls that the bros are being pictured with on Instagram?
I don’t really know. Maybe one day you’ll get to ask them yourself…
Will I?!!?! How?!?!?!
Because we’ll all hang out — no cameras — we’ll just hang out as big groups of friends. You can ask their WAGs then!
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 