What do you want to do for your Hen’s Night?
I don’t know… Karaoke?
(Chuckles) That’s all that you’d want to do for your Hen’s Night?!
First of all — I don’t want it anywhere close to the actual wedding day. I don’t have the energy for that. It needs to be… probably two weeks before the actual day. AT LEAST…
Second of all — yeah, why not?! Karaoke.
I don’t know… it just doesn’t seem… special? It’s like you can go to Karaoke any other night…
Hmm… okay… what I really, REALLY want to do?
(Nodding) Yes, please — tell me.
I want to sit around in a bunch of business pant suits with other women around a poker table, have the Chiefs playing on a big screen in the background, playing Taylor Swift music, smoking cigars and playing poker, or Uno, or some other card or board games. And we just lift our legs up like MEN and talk SHIT about MEN and that’s our Hen’s night.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………
Right?!?!?!?!!??!?!!
That sounds… more like you… which friends do you think will do that with you. And also — do you have to smoke cigars?!?!?!!
Okay — maybe not, well… gosh I haven’t smoked a cigar… ever?
You don’t want to start, trust me.
Okay fine — I don’t need to smoke cigars… but I kind of want to pose with one?
You don’t need cigars! Why do you want a cigar?!
Because it’s so PHALLIC. I want to pose with a cigar in my MOUTH and be like “F— you” to the camera in my BUSINESS SUIT and RED LIPSTICK.
(Cackling uncontrollably)
THAT’S YOUR HEN’S NIGHT FANTASY?!?!?!?!?!
(Nodding) (Smiling) And Taylor Swift music in the background…
I’m so sick of running as fast as I can
Wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man
And I’m so sick of them coming at me again
‘Cause if I was a man
Then I’d be the man
I’d be the man
I’d be the man
(Sigh) What else…?
I don’t know — maybe like a “Truth” box…
A “Truth” box?
For all the women to write their “Truths” — anonymously — about how SHIT life can be, living with a man, being a mother, being a daughter-in-law. I want ALL the GORY DETAILS from my fellow women about the TRUTH that I’m about to experience by getting married……..
(I can’t even describe his laughter right now)……………….
I want them to TELL ME THE TRUTH!!!!!! Before I get MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay. Yes Darling. Whatever you wish.
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 