Who’s walking you down the aisle?
My Dad…? And… my brother?
Both of them?
Maybe…?
(Stunned) That’s a little… scary for me…
Is it?! Why?
Well… it’s a little intimidating… it was already intimidating with your Dad, now your BROTHER, too!?!! (Quivering)
(Shrugs shoulders) I think… it kinda means something to us, though…
That you’re going to all gang up on me?!?!??!!
(Laughing) No…!??!?!!??! It’s not meant to be an intimidation tactic!!!
But I’m already feeling intimidated just imagining this!!!
I feel like… they’re both… equally… masculine father-like figures in my life.
(Sigh) Okay… fine…
You’re really bummed out about this?
I’m really scared that I’m gonna be really SCARED when all THREE OF YOU are coming down the aisle TOWARDS ME like I’m about to get BEAT UP in the SCHOOL YARD…
Oh…. (LOL)… I didn’t think about those optics…
Right?!?!?!!?!
Well, too bad!!! You know MARTIAL ARTS. How is this intimidating?!?!!
(Deep breaths) I don’t know… but the way I’m imagining it, it’s kind of intimidating.
You shouldn’t be feeling intimidated if you have NOTHING to feel intimidated about! If you are an HONOURABLE MAN. If you are marrying me for the RIGHT REASONS — you shouldn’t feel intimidated!!!
(Sighs) Okay… well… Can we decide with rehearsals? I don’t know… I’m still… not sure how I’m going to react or feel about this…
You’re supposed to feel EXCITED to see ME walking down the AISLE. That’s how a GROOM is supposed to REACT. It shouldn’t matter WHO is walking HER down that AISLE.
Ohhhhh… so I’m supposed to just focus on YOU….
Yes?!?!?!?!!! How was that not originally obvious?!??!!?!
Okay well, maybe if they could just, stand a little bit behind you when they’re walking? So then you’re like at the Apex of this GANG that’s coming towards me? And then I know they’re kind of slightly behind you?! You’re the MAFIA BOSS in this triangle?!!!?
(Laughing) Okay…? I guess…?
That makes me feel better… so much better…
THIS IS THE WEIRDEST CONVERSATION. Most grooms would NOT have a problem with this.
I don’t think they’re going to TELL YOU DIRECTLY that they have a problem with this but, I’M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW — IT’S FUCKING INTIMIDATING!!! I’M GONNA PEE MY PANTS!!!!!!!
(Laughing)
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 