(Whistling)
What are you whistling?
A simple tune I made up… do you like it?
It’s alright…
What if I just sang this to you as our proposal song? With this tune, “I love you, I want to marry you, please marry me, I love you” over and over again, and that goes on for 3 minutes?
(Slow blinking)… I’m not going to tell you… yes or no… right now… if that’s what you’re really planning… I’m not going to tell you my answer right now…
Text from Bros:
That is the DUMBEST most LAZIEST proposal song in the HISTORY OF MUSIC! That can be in a bridge! Or even background vocals! That is NOT a SONG!!! We will MAKE HIM write you THIS SONG!!! A proper proposal song!!!
Argghh!!! (Scratching his head) This is actually kind of hard…
Thought you said writing the songs was the easy part?
I THOUGHT it was gonna be the easy part…
You’re really overthinking this song…
Yeah. (Sigh) Can you give me some more hints?
I don’t know what “hints” to give?
Just something else — another essay? I don’t mind… anything…
Well… I feel like a proposal song should be… in a major key? Not a minor key? Like a minor key would feel… a little creepy?
(Laughing) Okay?
So… something in a major key… pretty standard… it doesn’t have to be that complicated…
Something sweet, something nice — something DEMURE — and… polite?
Polite?
Yeah, like it’s not like your “sexy” songs that you like to write about me. It’s not like you’re rapping about my ASS or my BOOBS or anything like that. It’s gotta be… gentlemanly…
Gentlemanly…
Yes… The song has to come from a gentleman. Not a cheeky boy.
(Nodding) (Processing)…
I love the cheeky boy — and I know he’s part of that marriage as well. But in the moment of that proposal — it’s gotta be from a gentleman. You only get one chance. Do it right!!!
(Nodding) (Processing)… I agree with you… I’m just… still thinking…
I don’t “need” it to be R&B… I don’t “need” it to be Ed Sheeran or Jack Johnson style — but — BUT — if you are really feeling that stuck — then, okay, those styles… All-4-One or Ed Sheeran or Jack Johnson’s styles… totally opposite of your genre…
Yeah that’s not my genre at all…
Yeah… so… (shrugs shoulders)… but it’s a proposal song and those are like the classics in the realm of proposal songs… proposal songs are in their own genre! People will go to those songs to express what they can’t put into words or songs themselves. These songs… are the catalyst for the most wonderful, happiest ever afters… You know what I mean?
Okay with the divorce rate being what it is, that is a very romanticised concept of proposal songs.
How would we know?! Who’s done a study?! How many have they even surveyed?! Did you actually propose to you WIFE with Jack Johnson’s song? Ed Sheeran’s song?! All-4-One “I Swear” — ?! What if the divorce rate ISN’T HIGH amongst THOSE couples?!!? What if they’re ALL still together?!?! And the divorce rate is full of people who didn’t actually use those songs?!?!?!
YOU COULD BE SAVING COUPLES WITH THIS SONG!!!
(Laughing)
Or, or, or — since we already know those are the GOOD songs — why don’t I just play those songs for you?
You’re worried you can’t get this song written in time… in the timeline in your head of when you want to propose?
(Frustratedly nodding… an aura of admittance of defeat)… (almost crying?!?!?!)…
Okay… if you really, really feel that stuck… fine… I don’t need that song at the proposal… but can you sing it for me at our 5, 10, 20, or however long it’s going to take — anniversary?
(Face slightly more optimistic)…
So you can pick… let me find the other Ed Sheeran song for later down this post… but… if your timeline is feeling a bit squeezed… then save the song for a milestone anniversary. I still want to hear it one day. Is that okay?
(Nodding) (Much, much happier and relieved)… What Ed Sheeran song?
(Sigh) Let me look this up…
We know it’s not “Shivers” —
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…
Which… Ed… Sheeran… song… is THE… proposal song… for US…?
Perfect.
Perfect?
Yeah… I’m a Virgo… Perfect hits…
So… I finally have my glamping set list.
You do?
Yep…
- “Better Together” — Jack Johnson
- “I Swear” — All-4-One
- “Perfect” — Ed Sheeran
Will you say yes?
(Smiling)
(Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss)….
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 