Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

Did you finish watching it? Dead Sound? On YouTube?

Yes.

What did you think?

I found it very interesting…

Oh? Interesting…

(Smiling) I think it’s very you…

It is, isn’t it?

It’s not even Melbourne Bitch, it’s Melbourne Nicole…

(Chuckles) Yeah… it’s Melbourne Nicole… almost as if Melbourne Nicole had to stumble upon those videos to save Corporate Nicole…

Save her?

I think those videos stopped me from another trajectory.

Another trajectory?

Yes… I probably wouldn’t be working where I am, this year. I probably… maybe… hooked up with someone else? Another corporate dickhead?! Who knows?! I don’t know… it’s plausible… I probably… would’ve bitched my way up the Corporate Ladder, you know?

(Laughing)

Yeah… but then… when I saw that scene with the “exceptional” girls — I felt like I was looking at a mirror. The “thinking” heads with suspended bodies — that’s like all corporate workers in their Teams or Zoom meetings… at least, that’s how I felt. I felt like… “This is us!!! We’re just on Teams!!! Just talking heads!!! That’s it!!!” — We never got anything “done” — there were instructions for others to get things “done” — we didn’t get things done. The suppliers, the publishers, the factory workers, even the “talents” that got booked for the Podcasts — they got things done. We weren’t getting anything “done” — does that make sense?

(Nodding)

And… a lot of corporate meetings… it feels like you’re going round and round… circle back… circle back… round and round in the corporate merry-go-round… You’re feeling very busy, but you’re not getting anything “done” — Not like tangibly “done” — many things were done, but it didn’t feel “done” —

It almost sounds like you had… anxiety?

(Laughing) Maybe… maybe…

Your Claustrophobia… you hated it… you felt like a trapped little mouse… being offered cheese on a platter… you were trapped by the cheese boards… they lured you in…

(Cackling) Am I allowed to say, “Exactly” — ?

But then… why do you want to go back? To do cybersecurity?

Because… I’ll know how to manage myself and others better… I learned a lot. It’s not all dystopian like the short animation… that’s just one angle to look at it. The entire experience as a whole wasn’t “bad” at all — It’s just not the ladder that I’m climbing. I know that cybersecurity will be a ladder I’d rather climb. I’d rather “put up with” all the corporate bullshit to get there for that climb. I know it’s the better ladder for me.

So you’re starting all over again, just to get to that mountain?

Yes…

The View from the Top — the Corporate experience.

(Laughing) My experience with corporate and other co-workers in that environment — everybody was “exceptional” — it’s quite a word to describe it. Everybody was sharp as a tack. Everybody did extremely well in school. Everybody was extremely well-rounded. Most people had really supportive parents, too. Everybody had an inner “corporate confidence” — I don’t know if you’ve met people like that. It might only be shown amongst corporate workers, not outwardly to “the talents” that get booked… There is an arrogance about working in corporate, being a corporate worker. There is an arrogance about being in that comfort zone in society — your salary is high enough. As much as people complain, it’s plenty and it’s comfortable for living in Australia, at least. That’s been my experience… these are my opinions… some fictionalisations, exaggerations, but overall… Usually, the arrogance was backed up. There was a lot to be arrogant about.

You felt like Corporate Australia was an arrogant environment?

I don’t know if I can apply that to “Corporate Australia” as a blanket term… and maybe it was only my perception of arrogance. Maybe nobody intended to come across as that. Maybe they were all my inner mirrors — I was arrogant. I was feeling very arrogant to have gotten in to Corporate Australia. That was my arrogance I was processing. And when I watched Dead Sound’s animations on YouTube… I think it pierced through it, a little bit… I still had other hurdles, other experiences… that maybe we’ll talk about face to face… but generally speaking… every time I felt like I was faced with a “political challenge” — and there’s many politics in an office, as anyone would presume — I just suddenly thought of the Dead Sound animation and the scene with the suspended heads and bodies and just felt like, “I’m taking a step back…” Like I wanted to emotionally, mentally, “take a step back” — I didn’t want to get sucked in.

Hmm… I think I want to suck on you, right now.

(Laughing)

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