Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

I don’t know if I want you to meet up with the Placebo friend… next time, we’re in Melbourne…

Oh? Are you being my Dad now?!

(Stunned, blinking) That was a weird projection… no?! I’m not your FATHER… I’m your HUSBAND… and I’m CONCERNED…

Why?

Because… if this Placebo Friend was the Melbourne Bitch’s mentor… I know I was acting all excited just a minute ago, but I’m really thinking about it now and I think… maybe they weren’t such a good influence?

Hmmm… I don’t regret my friendship with them.

Okay, but do you have to go drinking at ungodly hours? Is that every time that you meet up with them in Melbourne?

Yeah, sort of. I mean, yeah, it’s sort of our tradition. If I’m ever back in Melbourne, we’ll meet up somehow, at ungodly hours, drinking ungodly stuff…

I don’t think that’s HEALTHY?!?!!?

It literally happens once in a blue moon. How often am I in Melbourne?! I haven’t even been since before the Pandemic, that’s how long ago it’s been.

Still, I don’t think that’s a good habit to have with a friend. Why can’t you both meet just during the day? Even day drinking instead?

(Thinking about this)… maybe they’re a Vampire… they just don’t come out during the day.

Have you ever met up with them without alcohol?

(Thinking really hard about this)… I can’t remember…

I don’t think they’re a good friend. How can you say that you know they love you but every time your “friendship meetup” is just drinking, drinking, drinking?! Is that really “love” — even platonic friendship love?!

I don’t think you fully understand the situation… and it’s okay… you don’t have to understand… I just need you to accept it. That’s our friendship.

But you’re not even letting ME drink anymore?!

Yeah. Because I want to be your WIFE. Your LIFE PARTNER. I’ll have to see you EVERY DAY at some points in life. And I want you SOBER for that!

So… your only exception is THIS Placebo Friend?

Hmmm… perhaps… perhaps that is my only exception to the strict rules on alcohol…

WHY?!?!!?!?!?

Perhaps you’ll learn more about this face to face…

Whyyyyyyy….?

We’re drinking for the friend from the past.

And…? What about them?

They’re no longer here…

No longer here?

They’re not in this realm. They’re not here…

(Thinking about this riddle)…

We’re drinking to memories, because that’s all we’ve got of them. They’re not here. They’re not physically here to even drink with.

Okay but… you’re both just… poisoning your own bodies?!

It’s not to that level, we’re not drinking to that point. It’s just… maybe not more than three drinks for me.

Three drinks? That’ll be your maximum?

Okay, you have my permission, to stop me, at three drinks. Three standard Australian drinks.

(Chuckling) Okay. So that’ll be your limit when we meet up with Placebo friend. I’ll watch you, I’ll stop you… at three drinks.

Okay, fine… DAD…

(Still taken aback by this!) I’M NOT YOUR FATHER.

I know!!! But this is bringing out my inner rebellious teenager!!!

(Not sure how else to process this)

I do appreciate the concern. But I need my rebellious outlets as well…

Rebellious outlets? Why don’t we just book those anger rooms and you can go smash things up?! Get it out of your system instead of drinking alcohol?

Well… I did try kickboxing with the Placebo friend — there! That was a time we hung out without alcohol! We went to kickboxing classes together!

(Chuckling) Now I’m imagining you with boxing gloves and doing a kick…

Yeah… I was GOOD…

You were?!

Yeah… Mum stopped me from fighting in a competition.

What?!?! (This conversation is wildin’~~)

Well… I was getting good… the instructor asked me if I wanted to enter competition for women… I called Mum… she said, “NOOOOOOOO…” She didn’t want me to do that at all.

(Laughing) You’re lethal, did you know that?

No?! What are you talking about?

Your kicks were getting good enough for competition? The instructor wanted you to fight for real?

(Laughing) Yeah… but this was MELBOURNE BITCH. I’m now, 40-year old Millennial woman… I’m not kicking like that anymore…

Are you sure?! I feel like you HIDE STUFF from… EVERYONE…. (Laughing)

(Giggling) No, I’m serious… well? I don’t know… I haven’t practiced… I haven’t even tried… I don’t know. I don’t ever want to be in a situation where I’d have to use it.

(Nodding) (Smiling)

What?!

Nothing… I just… I didn’t know I married an AMAZON WOMAN…

The original Amazons? Before the shopping cart?

(Laughing) (Nodding) (Cackling to himself for no reason)…