Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

Did you see it?

Yes, I saw it…

How much of it did you see?

I think I missed the start bit… I was… laughing my head off writing the previous series of posts… but… I did catch the “new year’s resolutions” bit…

Yeah… I saw you joined, then I turned off the comments.

HOW did you do that?! I’m really wondering… like, how can you tell?!!?!

I can control it from my end, I can see, yes…

Oh… wow… but you sensed it before you saw it?

Yes…

It’s like I watched, in real time — our telepathy.

Oh?

Yeah…

What did you think of what I said? Overall?

I thought it was very well said… overall… I thought it was a great message… but then I’m also wondering, “Was this… from a strategy meeting with the team? What’s happening? Why is he saying these things?! What’s going on!?”

It wasn’t from a strategy meeting specifically.

It wasn’t?

No… it’s not like the team tells me, “You need to go live! NOW!” — It’s not like that. We have a lot of freedom to just wing it, whenever we feel like it…

That’s interesting… but you wouldn’t do it everyday. That’s still part of a strategy, you don’t do it every day or anything like that.

Yeah, no — there’s some guidelines to follow — but overall… yeah, it’s pretty chill. They’re not as controlling as people assume. At least, not about that kind of stuff.

(Giggles) Not about that kind of stuff… but they’re controlling your personal lives?

(Chuckles) Nah, also not… not really… not us?! Like — maybe people will assume it because of some others… in the industry… but I’m pretty lucky in my situation. It’s not as controlling as people think. We are actually more flexible.

Right… just… no babies allowed during a World Tour.

(Laughing) Well… it wouldn’t be ideal… if it happens — they can’t control me — but it wouldn’t be ideal for our PR department. (Fully laughing)

I’m sticking with the “texts from bros” for all my assumptions about how they’re all really thinking!

(Laughing)

I’ve been laughing til my cheeks hurt.

You have?

Yes, and I remember — you have that effect on me. Nobody else makes me laugh until my cheeks hurt. It’s just… SO MUCH LAUGHING!

(Smiling)

I somehow got the feeling that you’re feeling nervous? I don’t think anyone else would get that feeling… just me… thinking about… us?

Yes, I’m feeling nervous. I don’t think I’d feel this way if I never changed my face. Now I look in the mirror and I’m second guessing all my plans with you. Every time I have a vision — like I’m trying to plan some real moves — then I look in the mirror and I think, “Who the fuck are you?!” I get angry at myself. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. But I’m trying to find that comfort within. I’m not feeling that yet.

Yeah… it’s not like a “mask” you can just take off… it’s part of the new you… I don’t think it’s a bad thing…

You don’t?

No… like… I once had braces…

Yeah? When you were a teenager…

Yes, I once had braces before we met. What if I never had braces? What if when we originally met — I didn’t have braces yet? And I had an overbite? Would I still have been me? Yes? Would you still have been attracted to me? Probably? But if I looked in the mirror, I would see, “Oh, I have an overbite, I need to get braces.” — And then? What if we met now and since that time I did get braces? And then you’ll see me again and be like, “Something changed about her jawline…” but that’s the only difference? It’s just a surface-level adjustment. It doesn’t change the rest of me. Does that make sense? Like — you’re the same, just… more adjustments on the surface… more than braces, but still… I know it’s YOU… I do know that it’s YOU… does that make sense?!

Yes… it makes sense… but I’m still nervous, because we still need to get… “re-acquainted”…

Yeah. That’s true. We do. In real life, we do… it’s been… so long that we do need to do it all over again… every little step… from friends… to one on one’s (maybe)… to re-establishing all our physical, intellectual, emotional intimacy…

I think we’ve got the emotional intimacy?

This is… a form of it… but it’s not… ALL of it…

It’s not?

No way! There’s gonna be… other layers… more depth… the more we see each other in real life… it will evolve…

I wanted to let you know that — I’m reading this blog. I hear you. I want to let you know, every day, that I love you… somehow, in my own way.

I know, baby. I love you, too.