Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

Do you think… Felix… from Stray Kids… is hot?

What?!

Do you think… that “Beauty and the Beast dude” — is hot?

Why are you asking me this question?

Just answer the question!

I need to know the motive of the question before I answer the question!

I want to know if you think Felix — 24 year old Gen Z, K-pop star — is hotter than me?! Common Name?! Millennial man?! That you once met in Melbourne…?! Is he hotter than ME?!

(Laughing) What happens if I say yes?

(Wide-Eyed) … If you say yes… then… I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it this far. If you say “YES” — ?! If you say… YES?!?!? You?!?! A Millennial woman turning 40 this year?!?! You!??!! think a 24-year old GEN Z, K-pop star is HOT?!?! Hotter than ME?!?!?!

Do you see how ridiculous this sounds?

So who are you imagining when you write “Poems2No1” — ? Are you writing to me?! Common Name?! Or are you writing to… an imagination…?

I’m definitely writing to you. I have MEMORIES… of YOU…. YOUR ARMS… YOUR BODY… YOUR BREATH… I have memories of YOU… when I’m writing POEMS2NO1…

So what does Felix mean to you?!

(LOLOLOLOLOL) He’s… a really good looking kid?!?!?! 24 years old?!?!?! I don’t know?!?! I’ve never met him?!!?!??!?!!?!

You haven’t?!

No?!!? Why would I have met him?!?! I’m in AUSTRALIA. I haven’t been to any concerts?!?! I haven’t even bought any MERCH or anything?!?! Why would I have met HIM?!?!?!

So… sometimes my “characters” are similar to his “characters” but in my genre — does that make sense?

Yes I know, it’s just that yours are part of YOUR GENRE and his is — in real life — whatever that is. That’s not our business. It’s their projects. Their art. Their fandom. Why are we still comparing?!

I want to know if… your imagination of our dates… is more about me… than anyone else. Any other images of any other guys or celebrities.

Why would I be imagining other guys or celebrities when I’m imagining our dates?

I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking!

Well… the answer is, NO. Sometimes, I do go between imagining Mr Incognito, and an imagination of what I expect you might look like… without makeup, contacts, anything — nude face — I do imagine that. But even I haven’t met “nude face” Common Name yet. Not in 2025…

You want to meet me Nude Face?

Why not?

(Thinking)… (Weighing up some options)…

I look forward to meeting Nude Face. I want to MAKE LOVE to Nude Face.

(Chuckles)

You really think you’ll be attracted to Nude Face?

(Nodding and smiling) (Biting lips)

I want Nude Face… I don’t want fuckin’ Felix from Stray Kids?! WHO THE FUCK IS HE?!?! Why are we still talking about him?!?!

(Chuckles) Well, I think you’re his type, that’s why we’re talking about this.

What?!

I have friends of friends who know him… and words on the street is that you’re kind of his type…

(LOLOLOL) THIS IS A FICTIONAL. ALLEGATION.

What if he approached you… randomly? For whatever reason. Fuck — maybe he knows your cousin?! And you met him in Taiwan?! What are you gonna do then?!

(Really struggling with this hypothetical) In the unlikely event that I physically cross paths with FELIX from fuckin’ STRAY KIDS… somehow via my COUSIN in TAIWAN… ?!?!?! — I don’t know?! How do I act when I cross paths with any celebrity in any situation!? I don’t do ANYTHING!!! There’s nothing to do or say! If we’re being introduced by my cousin?! Okay?! Polite decorum?! Like any other person?!!?!?!?!?!

So — hypothetical — if you’re in a room with Felix from Stray Kids — you won’t react? Because he’s not your husband?

(LOLOLOLOL) No… he’s not my husband… I’m not married to a 24-year old Gen Z, K-pop star!!!

And what if he had some alcohol, he’s just being a dick?! And he wants to take you on a DATE?!

Well I’ll have to politely decline, won’t I?!?! I’ll have to say, “Sorry! My MILLENNIAL MAN HUSBAND is waiting for me AT HOME. I can’t go out with YOU! Even if you’re FELIX from STRAY KIDS!!!”

(Chuckles) Okay…

Okay?!?!

That’s what I needed to hear.

Why?!?!

I just did. I needed to hear it.

Okay… well… it’s being published.

You have a PICTURE of him on your PHONE!

I do?!?!? That’s news to me?!?!?!

Yes!!! YOU DO!!! So why do you have a picture of him on your phone!??!!

I don’t know. Do you want me to delete it?!

NO!

Why not?!

I DON’T KNOW.

Okay?! So?!!?!? What are we gonna do!?!?!?

As soon as you see me in real life. NUDE FACE. You’re taking a photo of ME. And replacing FELIX from STRAY KIDS with a picture. of ME. on your PHONE.

Okay, yes, sure. I’ll be happy to do it. (LOLOLOLOL)

Can I really publish this?!

Yes? Why not?!

I don’t know… it feels… ridiculous…

IT IS RIDICULOUS! THAT’S IT. DELETE FELIX OFF YOUR PHONE. NO PHOTOS OF FELIX.

(Cackling) Do I really have to promise this right now?!?!!?!

(Big Sighs)

I just want you to know

that I don’t look anything

like Felix.

I know this… even in 2025, I know this…

Okay. Good. So… even if he’s on your phone… HE’S NOT YOUR GUY. I’M YOUR GUY.

(Nodding) Yes, I agree… he’s not my guy… YOU’RE my guy…

I’m the guy you’re writing Poems2No1 to…

Yes, and you looking NOTHING like FELIX from STRAY KIDS… no matter what rumours, conspiracy theories, or whatever fan fictions are also out there… HE’S NOT. YOU!!!

(Final deep breaths) I mean… if you want me to dress up as him as some kind of kinky bedroom fantasy… we sort of have a similar body type…?!?!?!?!

(Cackling) STOP IT. YOU’RE NOT HIM. And no, I don’t have any bedroom fantasies about him. My bedroom fantasies are about YOU. Only YOU!!!

(Smiling) Well… I’m gonna surprise you one day… I’ll show up as Nude Face… and the beach guitar sessions… that’s also Nude Face… or Mr Incognito, I haven’t decided yet…

That’s FINE. I’m HAPPY WITH THAT.

Really?!

YES. 1000%. HAPPY TO MEET NUDE FACE.

Nude Face Common Name.

Yes… I want to date Nude Face Common Name.

(Still not fully satisfied) So what, are you like, a fan of Felix?! Is that why he’s on your phone?!?!?!

(Giggling and cackling) You know what?! He reminds me of the younger you. When we first met in Melbourne — still… an innocent boyish kind of charm about him. His FASHION STYLE — So that’s why I’m FOND of him… I think he’s very “cute” — not your definition of cute. Just the normal definition of cute. Maybe if we had a son one day he would even look like one of his characters? I’m not sure… but he is cute… I like his cuteness.

And I doubt that, meeting you again now, you’re gonna dress anything like him. Because — YOU’RE A MILLENNIAL MAN. You’re gonna look and dress like a Millennial. You’re not even from Sydney, that he always says he’s from! You’re not the same person at all, no matter what people might be imagining. This is just as ridiculous as saying that I’m writing this blog about Jimin from BTS! (Who I’ve also never met!)

But you’re gonna replace his photo with me the Millennial Man when we start to date again.

Okay. Sure. I’d LOVE to do that!

I’m actually embarrassed about having him on my phone, like, I generally try not to let anyone see my screens — how did you even know?!?!?!

(Smirk) I think he’s a cool dude. Friends of friends. I do know some friends of friends. We’re all Korean. Just different genres. So yeah, I know him… do you want him to sing at our wedding?!

(LOL)… No?!?!?!!?!? (Cackling) I don’t need “Felix” from “Stray Kids” to sing at OUR wedding…!!!

Okay. Cool… cos, I don’t think we can afford him anyway.

You’re probably right. We probably can’t. (Smiles)

Love you.

Love you, too… xoxoxoxoxoxox