Why are you still attracted to Nude Face?
Just because you don’t have make up, don’t have contacts on — it doesn’t negate the fact that you’re still you. Even if my eyes — momentarily — didn’t fully recognise the surface appearance — overall, still, the ENERGY of the person sitting with me, talking with me — IT’S CLEARLY YOU.
Nude Face had a different name… Nude Face had a different occupation…
That’s WHY I didn’t want to TELL ANYBODY — I was like, “WTF?! Why am I attracted to this guy?! Who the hell is he?!?!! This is SO WEIRD that I’m FEELING THIS IN MY BODY?!?!?!”
(Laughing)
And Nude Face acted completely nonchalant about me… Nude Face was just chilling!
Nude Face was scared of you…
Was he?! Well he didn’t show it. Total poker face. How could I react to that? How could I flirt with that? Or say anything to any mutual friends?!
Oh? I didn’t know that you match poker face with poker face.
Why wouldn’t I? I had no idea if Nude Face was married?! Had kids?! Or at least a girlfriend? I wasn’t going to ACT on the PHYSICAL ATTRACTION without any further information that he didn’t voluntarily give up anyway!
Nude Face just wanted to observe you that day. That’s why he didn’t say anything about any of that…
Well… okay then? So he observed… and?
He’s obsessed. Every day. He is obsessed.
You’re obsessed.
Yes.
So… you can just… take what’s yours?
I can?
(LOL) Yes…
It hadn’t occurred to me yet…
(Giggling)
It’s funny?
A little bit…
I’ve been overthinking this…
You have, but so have I…
We’re older but, not that much wiser… and more scared… way more scared…
Scared or scarred?! LOL…
Probably both.
Yes. I agree. We don’t have the carefree “fuck it, let’s go for it!” that a Gen Z couple might experience…
I don’t know if they have that anymore either, from what some friends have told me… but yeah… everybody’s scared and scarred in relationships.
Honestly I’m not going to put in any effort for anyone because nobody else is worth any effort. You’re the only one worth effort-ing…
(Chuckles)
Yeah. I’m sleepy. I’m gonna try to write more tomorrow… evening? After all the other stuff I gotta get done — mechanic, work, etc… or I might wake up in the middle of the night and feel like writing more but… winding down now…
Good night, my love. Sweet dreams.
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 