Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

(Chuckles)

What?

Your last post was about Barbie phones and sugar babies, now you want to talk about Caesareans?

Yes… Also, I didn’t know that was the spelling… there’s some WordPress autocorrect spelling thing here and I just clicked on it.

(LOL)

I think your WordPress autocorrect spelling thing is on British UK spelling.

(Laughing)

Okay, anyways…

Yes? Anyways…?

I used to think that I wanted to push out a baby naturally. That was like — the highest ideal — to be the most perfect of perfect organic hippie yoga Moms who gets to eat 100% organic Vegan food throughout her entire pregnancy, not feel stress, not have any morning sickness, not even touch PLASTIC during the entire pregnancy, walking barefoot on fresh grass and pushing out a baby naturally without any pain or meds or anything…

(Nodding) Doesn’t sound… realistic? But… okay?

Yeah. Well. It’s not a possibility now. I don’t think — and I don’t even want that now. But like, that used to be the ideal to aspire to…

Really? Is that what’s really worth aspiring to, though? 100% organic Vegan food through a pregnancy?

We’re not going to judge those that do it successfully. I’m just saying — I had a lofty dream that I also wanted that kind of “yoga purist” pregnancy — but now — in my reality, especially in my late-30s… so close to 40 now, perhaps even by the time I do miraculously fall pregnant, it’s gonna be early 40s…

Yeah. You don’t need to have a “perfect” organic hippie Yoga Mom pregnancy. I wouldn’t want you to. So stop beating yourself up about this non-existent pregnancy or even the hypothetical thought that… well, it’s just not happening and it doesn’t matter to me.

Okay. Yeah. The stats of me falling pregnant now are already unlikely — let alone in my early 40s. But if it does happen — if it happens naturally, since we don’t want any IVF… then, I do think that, I’m going to need a caesarean because… I can’t push out the baby naturally. I mean — I don’t want the risk. And it’s not just the age factor.

(Nodding) I definitely don’t want you to do anything that would be a “riskier” medical situation. If caesarean is the safer option for pregnant women your age, let’s go with caesarean…

I want a really nice room to stay at, in a hospital…

Sure? I mean? I can afford it?

No — in Australia, it’s actually the state hospitals that have better birthing rooms than the private hospitals. It’s a matter of LUCK.

(Laughing) WHAT?! What do you mean?!

Honestly — I don’t know the facts. Nobody should read the rest of what I have to write as facts. This is fictionalisation. I have no idea what I’m talking about.

But from friends’ catch-ups, the Millennial friends around here who have swapped notes about giving birth to their babies — the friends who got into the state hospital rooms had nicer rooms than the friends who already pre-booked private hospital rooms. And it was surprising for everybody!

“How much did you pay for that super nice room?!”

“ZERO DOLLARS, my friends! It was all on Medicare!”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I PUT DOWN AS A DEPOSIT FOR MY PRIVATE HOSPITAL ROOM?!!?!?!?!?!?!”

(Raising eyebrows) This is… new and interesting information about Australian healthcare…

(LOLOLOLOL)… I also… don’t know… why or how that happened… maybe it was before the Pandemic? I don’t know! But we’re going to have to research this properly when it’s a real possibility.

(Chuckling) Can’t I just book you a hotel room? Get a midwife to come over?

(Shaking head) No… I mean… maybe if I was in my early 30s I’ll feel confident about that. But no… not now, not this age… I want… hospital facilities…

Okay. Yeah. Sure. Okay. (Does acknowledge a level of seriousness here…)

I’m a geriatric pregnancy now… especially into early-40s…

(Laughing) I’m a geriatric pop star! We have a geriatric dog! That’s okay!

Yeah… so… it’s possible some women my age, still give birth naturally. They can get an epidural, they can do whatever — it’s still possible. There’s many stories.

But I don’t feel confident in that. It’s making me cringe, just the thought of it — I have other personal medical reasons that I don’t want to do that.

Okay. Sure… don’t do it.

Yeah. So I think I would need caesareans for every pregnancy. If I fall pregnant naturally throughout my 40s. That’s my main point.

Sure. Okay. You’ll have your caesareans scheduled. I’ll block off all my calendars to be there with you, holding your hand.

(Big sigh of relief) Thank you… that’s what I needed to hear.

You don’t want a surrogate?

I’m not sure if people do that.

Do what?

Like if you fall pregnant, the embryo is already naturally attached to your own uterus — it’s not like an embryo in a petri dish from IVF that they transfer to another woman’s body. The embryo is already attached to MY body, if we fall pregnant naturally. I don’t think we should move embryos around like that. I’m still feeling pretty good that I can carry a pregnancy… even through early 40s… I’m still generally healthy… but I don’t feel confident about the “pushing” — that’s it. That’s why I want the caesarean part of it.

Okay. (LOL) I have no idea about any of these things so I’m just gonna keep nodding and saying “okay” to everything that you’ve decided.

The hospital room is not that big of a deal, that was just… random trivia topics… As long as I can have a safe and healthy pregnancy, caesarean procedure, no medical dramas. We’re all healthy — us and the new baby — and we can bring the baby home when the hospital says so, and I have a good recovery — that’s it. It doesn’t matter about the hospital room. A good, clean room with helpful nurses around. That’s it.

Yes… you don’t need a boogie birthing room. Even state hospitals might be better in this instance.

Yes… well… now I’m not sure if I even need a birthing room because I’m not giving birth naturally. I think I mixed up the two options. I think women with scheduled caesareans simply have their own recovery rooms (not birthing rooms)… maybe it is private hospital ward, then, for us?

(Chuckles) Okay. I wasn’t following any of this properly in my mind anyway because I have no idea how to imagine any of it. So now you DO want a private hospital room?

Well… yes, if it’s going to be a scheduled caesarean, then yes. Private hospital room.

Do you have private health in Australia? Already?

Yes.

(Shrugs shoulders) So that’s not a problem for us, then?

No, it’s not… just an FYI…

I could’ve afforded it anyway even without private health.

Yes but that is too much privilege. It’s okay, I have private health. We’re just a normal millennial couple scheduling a caesarean in a private hospital one day!

(Nodding) (Smiling) Normal millennial geriatric birthing plans.