Staff: This rumour’s been swirling around the whole time you’ve been famous — but it’s gaining momentum in 2025. Content creators are making stitches, duets, fan theories… people are drumming up the gossip…
Husband: What gossip?
Staff: That you have a secret girlfriend in Australia. She’s been your secret girlfriend the whole time. Maybe even a fiancé.
Husband: (Laughs) And what have I told you all this whole time?
Staff: You always said, “It’s true. I don’t care if the world finds out about it. I love her. It’s true.”
Husband: (Nodding)
Staff: But we’ve always kept those rumours at bay — for your sake. For your bros’ sake. For the company’s sake. Even for the fans’ sake! Do you really want to burst their bubbles?
Husband: It’s not about that. I just think the culture of the toxic fans is really annoying. If they want to run with it, let them run with it. I’m retiring soon anyway.
Staff: (A little stunned, a bit shocked)
Husband: You guys still all have jobs! You’re still with the company. When I’m retired, I’m the one who doesn’t have a job. She’s the one I’m going home to when it’s all done.
Staff: Okay, but the Big Boss is kinda pissed. Like — can we have a strategy meeting to get these rumours under control?
Husband: (Sighs)… did you know her cousin is friends with the Big Boss?
Staff: (Shook) No fuckin’ way…
Husband: Well, maybe not close personal friends… but business acquaintances, that I am sure. In some way, they have business networking events and they’ll meet each other and discuss geopolitics, the economy, and other things… things way beyond us.
Staff: (Puzzled) (Where is he going with this conversation?!)
TEXT FROM WIFEY: Stop torturing your staff! Just cooperate with them! I don’t need to be KNOWN… I don’t mind being part of any salacious rumours as long as they never get too close to where I live and work and details like that!!!
Husband: (Sighs) Okay. Strategy meeting about the rumours. I’m listening. What do you guys have in mind?
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 