It’s raining a lot this week?
Yes… it happens… this time of year…
So… did you want me to get you a Barbie phone… now? Like, tomorrow? I just go to the shops and get you a Barbie phone?
(Giggles) No, I don’t think so? I mean — you could, if you wanted to — but not like, walk up to me at work and give me a Barbie phone straight away within the next 7 days? Is that what you mean?
Ugh, yeah, actually I’m a little confused… how do you see this all unfolding?
Hmm… first of all, I don’t know where you are in the world… like, literally. I don’t know for sure. Right now? As I’m typing this?! Where are you?! What are you doing?! I don’t know these facts… so I guess there’s two main possibilities.
- You’re in Australia, somehow… so you are able to meet up… if we do get to meet up, and we’re vibin’ like for realsies — then, you can give me the phone before you’re then due to leave. Like actually have to go back to Korea? So then we do keep in touch. We can talk about all that face to face when you give me the phone.
- You’re not in Australia — so you can’t just give me a Barbie phone, or expect someone else to give me the phone and start calling that phone…
Why can’t we do No. 2?
Because… then it’s like a fan call?! (ROFLMAO) It’s so weird?!!?!!? Like I haven’t seen you in real life YET to re-establish THIS properly?!?!?! It’s still an IMAGINATION of each other, even if via phone?! Does that make sense…?
(Laughing) A little bit… I mean, if we had matched on a dating app, wouldn’t we go from talking stage to phone call, to meeting up in real life?
Yes but that’s not us. That’s not our situation. We’re not “meeting each other” for the first time. We’re not building up from matching on a dating app. This is a totally different situation. I don’t think anyone else in the world has our situation — or it’s very, very rare.
It doesn’t feel right to me. I think that my writing exists as it does, regardless of No. 1 or No. 2 options… when you do see me in real life again — we have to TALK — like normal people do when they catch up again in real life!
“I can’t believe it’s been so long…”
“It really is you… fuck… like there were times when I was second guessing myself — is that Common Name really the Common Name that I know and am thinking of?! HIS FACE CHANGED SO MUCH!” — I have to be able to tell you this, to your face, in real life, and let you respond!
“Yes it really is me… yes of course, you are the mutual friend of my older brother…”
“Have you been reading… my blog?!” (Giggles)
“Have you been following… all my social media?! Have you SEEN all those THIRST EDITS?!” (Giggles)
“What is our timeline?! I know I saw you some times in between — before I completely forgot. I know that we did catch up at least one or two times… in Melbourne? Before you fully transformed to… looking like this?!?!!” — RIGHT?!?!?!
We need to HUG. We need to RECOGNISE EACH OTHER AGAIN. We need to touch base — This really is you, this really is me — I haven’t been fully imagining some other signs and synchronicities…
Like I don’t know why I’m somehow imagining a light-hearted social gathering with other mutual friends here… like… maybe some newer Gold Coast friends who are mutual friends… so it’s like… not like a one-on-one date kind of pressure. Just like a small group of friends type of hangout, but you’re not “YOU” — the celebrity — or the characters — you’re “YOU” — the MUTUAL FRIEND — of other mutual friends? Gold Coast mutual friends?
(Chuckles)
Why is this funny?!
Because… yeah, I do agree. It’s just funny, though…
Okay? Well… that’s the way I see it. And I feel like, I have no idea when you’re actually going to appear like this… I’m a little nervous, honestly… when is the “surprise” coming? (LOL)… it’s better if I don’t think about it?
Yes. Don’t think about it.
Yeah… so then, all I can do is keep writing? Keep imagining our little scenarios… keep daydreaming and jumping between future visions, past reminiscing… whatever other stuff I’ve been writing… all of that…
I’m going to get the Barbie phone tomorrow. Well, I’m going to get a friend to get the Barbie phone. And then — when I am in Australia next — I’ll get the phone from the friend. We’re even going to “test” it first. So it’ll be all set up by the time I give the phone to you.
(LOL) Okay?! That’s fine. I’m not attached to a Barbie phone “fresh unboxing” — you can test it with the friend first, if that’s what you need to do. Heck — I don’t even need to know what the phone number of the Barbie phone is! You could just give it to me. And I’ll never be able to dial out. You can only dial that phone. Only you — and perhaps the friend, well, obviously — would know that number. I wouldn’t even know the number.
And maybe you need to change SIM cards every year? I don’t know about that. But that’s getting very paranoid…
You’re getting paranoid. Yes, I don’t think I need to change SIM cards every year. I think we’ll be engaged before that and the friend can relax because we won’t need the Barbie phone for that long.
(Giggles) Okay…? I don’t know about being engaged THAT SOON in real life?! Maybe 12 to 24 months?!?!?!
(Smirk) So far, I’m getting that — you want a social gathering first, but then — I might have to go back soon after that meeting. It’s like, maybe we don’t even have time for a “first date” this time around? So then we keep in touch with the Barbie phone? Or do you need to date in real life a bit more before the Barbie phone?
I think the practicalities of the circumstances are that… you can give me the Barbie phone whenever you feel like, “Now I really need to keep in touch with her” — like, it’s not really my choice?! I’m not going to be the one to call you — you are the one who gets to call me. Because… you have MILLIONS AND MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF FOLLOWERS ON INSTAGRAM — this is still not a “normal” relationship! Even in a dating phase! The dynamics and power structures, are slightly different… I know it kind of makes me sound like…
A toy… it makes you sound like my toy…
(LOL)… well…?! I don’t know!
When will it be that — I’m your real boyfriend — on your real phone? You can call me whenever you want — even if I miss the call because I’m busy, but it’s just a normal relationship. You can call, you can text — whenever you want. It’s not always me making that move to call you?
Does that matter to you?
YES…?!?! Why wouldn’t it…?!?!
Maybe after at least a few months… up to 24 months… ish? I think? I think that I need that time… and I need to… just observe… how this all unfolds this time around…
That’s what you need?
Yes. And I want to see the consistency of you calling me… and you, texting and organising, arranging for the dates and times of those calls…
So the Barbie phone is still, technically, a chasing phase phone. It’s not actually a boyfriend phone. I’m still chasing you with the Barbie phone.
Hmmm? Maybe…? But I also think — doesn’t it make more sense?! If you’re not retired yet?! That we will still need to keep that routine?
I’m not sure… I can see other ways… but… if that’s what makes you feel comfortable right now… I can do that for you… at least during the chasing phase…
Right… Okay? So it’s still the chasing phase… Re-chasing… going back over… the past things… and… re-establishing… a new foundation… does that make sense?
Yes.
(Smiling) I’m gonna… try to keep sleeping… and if I wake up suddenly I might write a poem…
I love your poems. Okay, you go do that. I’m planning something… and you don’t get to know! (Smirk) It’s gonna be a SURPRISE…!
A surprise with a Barbie phone.
(Giggling to himself)
(Thinking about this a bit more…)
We have to KISS. Before you give me the Barbie phone.
Oh…?! That’s a new rule…?
Yes. We have to KISS before you give me the BARBIE PHONE. The Kiss seals the deal. Okay. The chasing phase is officially ON. Before the kiss, in real life — it’s all friendly catching up…
(Slow-blinking?! — I don’t actually know what your facial expression is after reading that, LOL…)
Good night, babe! Love you!
Love you, too… xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 