Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

Didn’t you finish work at 3:00 pm? And you’re only at your laptop now? At 5:30 pm? What’ve you been doing in between that time?!

Well… I felt like I wanted to take a shower immediately after I got home from work. Then I had to make food. Then I had to eat the food. After I ate the food I also had to feed the geriatric dog some food. After I fed the geriatric dog some food, I then also took some vitamins. And after I took those vitamins, now — it is 5:30 pm as I am typing this.

Okay… did something else happen in between?

Yes. Embarrassingly — I thought I would “play cupid” with some current and past co-workers, only when I got home and checked Facebook, it turned out one of them is not single and in fact engaged at the present moment. So… we gotta scrap that idea! LOL…

(Chuckles) Okay… now what do you want to talk about with Barbie Phones?

I think we should get Barbie Phones.

You do? Which phones? What do you mean?

The HMD Barbie Phones. They’re very similar to early 2000’s flip phones. The nostalgia is real. Plus — it doesn’t have to be linked to any Google accounts or social media accounts or anything. You just need a SIM card — could even be a prepaid one — and just call each other like people used to do before smart phones!

Can you text as well?

Yes. You can text like traditional texting. Not smart-texting. Nothing on an iCloud or whatever Samsung uses. Nothing like that. Just texting, and just calling. It does connect to wifi — but I think you could turn that off.

You can literally just use it like an analogue phone.

You want me to buy you an analogue Barbie phone?

No, not you — technically. I think you should get a friend to buy these phones. You can buy them in Australia. You can buy prepaid SIMs — you still need to provide Photo ID to buy prepaid SIMs in Australia. So I think your friend should buy these two Barbie phones, and then the call logs looks like they are just calling themselves and talking to themselves…

(LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)

I know, right?!

I think there is a limit in Australia, like you’re not supposed to have more than 5 x prepaid SIM numbers attached to your identity? I can’t remember where I got that from. I think it was once I did buy a prepaid SIM and the lady told me that. It was many years ago, I could be wrong by now.

Anyway, I think it’s pretty harmless if there is a friend happy to do that — and the prepaid SIM — obviously, you can organise all that.

So you want me to keep a bright pink Barbie phone with me at all times and that is my “girlfriend phone” and when it rings, then I know it is you calling me?

Well… is that unrealistic for you? (Giggles)

I don’t think I need to do this. I’m pretty confident in my tech and the security features, but it sounds like YOU are a little paranoid, from studying Cybersecurity, and you’re the one who needs an “analogue phone” to feel like you are “safe” when accepting my calls?

Hmm… you might be right about that… And I don’t want that phone to be purchased in a way connected to my identity…

Why!? What’s the worst that could happen?!

Well — I was thinking about how I still have my old phone number that you easily memorised. However, that phone number IS connected to my employer and other regular life things. I just don’t want to mess with everything I have set up already.

If I have a different phone… an analogue phone… then, if there was ever a risk or an alert about a security breach — I can just throw that phone away. It’s gone. It’s done. It doesn’t need to be disconnected from any other connections that I have in my regular life. Does that make sense?

Yes but it also makes me sound like a hidden, dark secret in your life…

LOL it’s not like that! Shouldn’t you feel more assured?! Since you also don’t want this to be too… “public”…? Not right now? Not this year?

And the friend who helped to get the phone wouldn’t have to worry about this going on for too long either. Yes, yes, EVENTUALLY we’ll sync up everything but in the early stages of getting to know each other again — and I think, before your retirement — it’s probably the most practical way.

Is there video calling capabilities on that phone?

No. There isn’t… so I think if you do want to see me, we can open up another app on our regular devices and just video call each other — ON MUTE — over there. Does that make sense?

So we’re juggling two phones just to make one video call…

Yes. And we’re not having cyber sex like that. That’s not happening. It’s really just for communication and “seeing” each other via long distance. Just keeping in touch. I even think the calls are like “date night” — where regular couples living in the same city are calling and texting each other to organise date nights — we are probably just texting back and forth about when is the next best time to call, and then we call, and then after we establish each others’ voices and authenticity — then we open up a video capable app on another device and video call (on mute) on that device while we’re still talking…

Wow… you’ve really thought this through like a Taiwanese spy chick…

(LOL)

What if I’m just calling you and then opening up a video app on my regular device because I don’t really give a fuck?

Well then I’m receiving your call on the analogue phone, and then I’ll open up a video app on my regular phone… or maybe not my regular phone, I still haven’t decided but another phone…

I want good video quality.

LOL… fine, it’ll be either the Samsung or an Apple device I still have… pro camera… (LOL)…

Do you think this is realistic for us?

Well… I think that I have my routines, and you have the most volatile schedule. I think that… it’s not like you’re ever waiting for “my” calls — it has to be accommodating to your schedules.

It’s more like — I can share with you my work roster — the expectation of it. Of course, sometimes there’s last minute changes, but there is a general template of a 2-week rotation… so you can at least map that out in your own diary, if that helps. And you can calculate whatever time zone differences are going to be on your end. Wherever you are in the world.

I can’t calculate all that.

You have to text me — “Okay, in 18 hours, will you be awake? Can I give you a call?” — Something like that. And when I reply — hopefully within 5 to 8 hours — we can confirm, yes or no.

You need an 18-hour window?!

I don’t know, I’m just giving an example!

You’ll get to have my class schedules too. That’s easily predictable. But then, on my days off — what am I doing? You don’t always know. Sure, we can talk about it before the next call. But again — just confirming.

I would say… 12 to 24 hours window is quite sensible with sometimes, really large time zone differences…

But… it’s up to you as well.

Or, we can make that promise, at the end of each call. Checking the calendars, both calendars, and saying, “Okay, our next phone call will be…” and then, maybe about 10 to 12 hours before that intended date and time, there is a quick text to confirm, yes or no. Because, sometimes, last minute things happen. So it’s just a quick check-in with the text. And then, you are always the one to call.

If there is a last minute thing — you can’t call — that’s okay. I’ll wait for the next call, the explanation. The text will be a quick, “Sorry, something came up. Next call date/time…?” something like that. So you don’t have to explain anything in a text. Don’t ever feel like you have to explain in text. You can explain in the next call.

Will you keep the Barbie phone with you wherever you go?

I’m not sure… I thought I was just going to keep it on at home? Do you want me to take it with me?

No… it’s probably too bulky to lug around with everything… and now you’ve written about it on your blog, it’s also too obvious. So you’re just going to keep the Barbie phone at home and pick up calls from me when you’re at home?

Yes. And I’m pretty sure… it wouldn’t have geo-tracking… to be confirmed… but I think that it doesn’t have to have all that…

I’d rather have the Barbie phone at home as the ONLY piece of tech that I just know — THAT IS THE PHONE MY HUSBAND WILL CALL ME ON. Nobody else will call me on THAT phone.

If I feel like turning on video, then I will turn on video. But I’m also not going to guarantee turning on video because it depends what TIME you end up calling?! Sometimes the time zones are just too awkward. It could be 2:00 am here…

I want video. EVERY. TIME.

Okay, fine!!! But sometimes it’ll just be a low lamp light. I’m not going to guarantee a ring-light or anything like that.

(LOL) That’s okay. But I need video. I want to see your face. I want the video call.

Okay but it’s also not like how it sounds…

No, we’re not having cyber sex. I just want to see your face. I miss your face. I want video calls. I want to see your smile.

Okay baby, we can do that. But get me a Barbie phone.