Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

(LOL) What?!

Where’s my typewriter? I have your scarf. You have my typewriter. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TYPEWRITER?!?!?!!?!??! RIGHT NOW?!?!?! IN 2025?!?!?!?! WHERE IS IT?!?!?!?!?!

(Laughing) Are you still listening to Taylor Swift’s “Cowboy Like Me” or have you moved on to another song, suddenly?

I am very hormonal right now. (PMSing)… YES. I changed songs. TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT.

Where… is… MY… typewriter?!?!?!

(Laughing) I still have it…

WHERE?!?!?!?!?

I’m not gonna tell you on a public blog!!!

FUCK.

What?! Are you mad?!

No. I’m not MAD. I’M PMSING. I WANT TO KNOW WHERE MY TYPEWRITER IS!!!

(Laughing) You’re so cute when you’re mad…

I’m not mad. But did you know — when this song first — well, when I first listened to this song. I thought it was about Matty Healy. And I was so confused, it did not compute. I just felt like… “Surely this song is NOT about Matty Healy!?!!?!?!?!?!!?” It didn’t make sense to me. I just… I didn’t know what to think. “Why is Taylor singing about Matty Healy like this?! It doesn’t make sense.”

I don’t know why, I just felt — THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.

But the song — on its own — I like it. I’m very touched by it. It’s sweet.

IT’S MAKING ME CRY TONIGHT.

Okay. Anyway.

I remember a Golden Retriever puppy… a literal DOG. I remember. The dog was very cute. I remember the DOG…

Did I have fake tattoos on for decoration? Maybe. It certainly sounds like me.

I’m not sure if I know what you’re talking about because right now, like you said, you’re PMSing…

If you wanted to know, “Who uses typewriters anyway?!” — YOU COULD’VE JUST SAID IT OUT LOUD FROM YOUR HEAD. AND THEN I WOULD’VE ANSWERED YOU IN THE MOMENT!!!

YOU KNOW WHO USES TYPEWRITERS?!?!?!?

YOU KNOW WHO TYPEWRITERS REMINDED ME OF?!?!!?!?

THE CHILDHOOD FRIEND WHO DIED.

It would’ve opened up that conversation, if you had asked me in that moment.

I’m not mad.

I cried a lot. Okay.

PMS.

Do I… have the typewriter… of the childhood friend… who died?

(Nodding) I think so. I can’t remember that fact either.

Ugh… is it haunted?!

No, it’s not haunted. Well, I doubt it… I don’t think they have time to haunt you. Honestly, I think they’ve moved on to other incarnations.

We’re the ones still here. Trying to figure out the rest of this life together.

We have to… I want to know what you’re WONDERING about ME. When you’re WONDERING IT. If we’re back together IN REAL LIFE.

I don’t want to hear about it as a random thought from a Taylor Swift song 18 years later. I need to know. In the moment. I need to know, what are you thinking? I NEED TO KNOW. And then we can TALK about it. In REAL time. In REAL life. Not 18 years later through a fictional blog!!!

Have you had a lot of… iced mochas today?

(LOL) No. I have not.

I AM PMS’ing. And I need to let this out.

TELL ME. IN THE MOMENT. WHEN YOU’RE WONDERING SOMETHING ABOUT ME!!!

GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF!!!

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

Good. Love you.

(Smiles) Love you, too.

(Still… shaking head…)

(Taken aback, usually in the Ovulation phase “Love you” means the topic is finished. Everything should be calm… but no, this is Luteal phase… things are NOT calm… “Love you” doesn’t mean the topic has “ended” — “Love You” — is more of a… fermata…)

What’s going on?

Do you know… about the Goddess Sekhmet?!

Sekhmet?! We just jumped from typewriters to Sekhmet?!

Yeah. (Nodding) Sekhmet. What do you know about Sekhmet?!

What do you mean what do “I” know about Sekhmet?! You’re the one who just brought it up!?!?!?!? I’m so confused right now!

(Shaking her head) YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW SHIT ABOUT SEKHMET!!!

(Nodding) (Backing away slowly) You’re right. You’re right. I don’t fucking know shit about Sekhmet… Umm… do you still love me?!

(Nodding) I do. I do. I do…

I’m just… fucking pissed.

At me?!

No? Why would you think that?! I’m not pissed at you?

(FUCKING CONFUSED) Well you sure as hell seem like you’re pissed at ME??!?!!? (Looking around — there’s no one else here?!?!? Who is she PISSED at?!?!?!!?)

(Shaking her head, staring right into his eyes…) (Weighty shallow breaths, breasts heaving up and down)… (Licking her lips)… Have you ever had angry sex?