Friends: Dude, she’s fuckin’ horny for you in her writing. I can’t fuckin’ read this blog! I feel like I should look away…
Husband: (Chuckles) (Smiling) She’s a good writer… I love her so much. I’m horny for her in some of my songs, too. Most people just don’t make that connection when they listen to it!
Friends: So is that what you both do?! Just purposely separate yourselves, torture each other to write songs? Write poetry? Create art?!
Husband: No! It wasn’t on purpose… it just happened to be that way, and we’re living our experiences and we’re creating art because of it. If I had it my way, she’d be here. She’d be here by my side, every fuckin’ day. If I got to have everything I’ve ever wanted, she’d already be my wife — legally, everything. Acknowledged. I probably would’ve even kicked up a huge fuss in this industry, this genre. “LET ME FUCKIN’ LIVE YOU ASSHOLES.” Like I would’ve ripped the toxic fans to shreds. I would’ve fought for her in every interview, every scenario where it’s being challenged — “Why do you get to have a PUBLIC WIFE?!” — I would’ve just had that roar in me when I was younger. And if she was by my side?! I would’ve done anything to protect HER, and if people were going to gaslight me about HER, yeah — I would’ve been triggered. I would’ve taken those baits. I would’ve…
Friends: So what about now, old man? Not so easily triggered?
Husband: (Sigh) Still easily triggered but not so easily reactive to those triggers. I’m just… handling it… slightly better… I know where the gaslighting is coming from. I know the intentions behind some of the toxic dramas in this industry. I can see a bigger picture, as well… not like when I was younger. I don’t want to get into all the details, but there’s more layers, more politics to navigate — I never would’ve known when I was younger. Yes, my frontal lobe is developed now.
And I still fuckin’ miss her every day. That’s never stopped.
I think it feels different this time around knowing that… she remembers… it brings me joy, it brings me calm. I am scheming — I’m plotting my surprise… (devilish grin)… Let her miss me now… I’ve been doing it every day for 18 years. She can wait a little longer — just a little longer — I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve. (Smiles)
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 