Do you still talk to Gerard?
No. He’s been gone, a very long time. I think he even disappeared by Primary school. He wasn’t around that much. Do you still feel like you’re a boy, sometimes?
No. I don’t feel like I’m a boy. I’m very much a mature, millennial woman right now.
That’s… good?
Why was his name Gerard…?
I don’t know. I can’t remember.
Gerard sounds like a rich name… a bit posh…
Yeah. Gerard was really posh. Gerard would tell me about how, he went to the store with his parents, they bought him really nice clothes.
(Eyerolls)… some of my earliest memories was going to the department store with my mother, and she dressed me up like a doll — because I looked like a little boy — to make sure that people knew that I was a GIRL.
(Wide-eyed… blinking)… Gerard was actually a little girl.
(Laughing) Yes!
(Still wide-eyed… blinking…) I had a little… girl…friend?
YES. And her name was NOT Gerard. That was your assumption!
Wow… (Smiling)…
What are you feeling right now?
I don’t know. I feel happy for little me…
You do?
Yes.
Why?
Because… he didn’t know it back then, but he was talking to his future Wifey (cheekish grin).
And everybody else thought he was bat shit crazy.
(Nodding, smiling)
…
So, you didn’t have a “terrible” childhood… Yes, it was lonely, but you had Gerard…
Yes. I had Gerard… Gerard gave me strength. Gerard was my biggest supporter. Gerard was a delight to have around. I loved Gerard. I thought I was gay?
(LOL)… Gerard was a little girl…
Now I know that!
(Smiling) Gerard had her own problems… she didn’t… consciously reply to you… I don’t know how you tapped in.
I don’t know either. But I did.
…
Maybe our Souls, on this planet… in our darkest moments… if we have a Soul Mate, or a Twin Flame, maybe… the hearts pulsate… they send out vibrations, trying to find that other half…
Maybe this usually happens after puberty. Maybe there is a longing that is consciously realised, after a human has fully formed their sense of Self — as much as “relatively normal” — between teenaged and adult years.
Romantic Souls recognise each other, usually as adults.
But for you, in your Loneliness… you desperately reached out and tapped in.
And me, being a Pisces Moon — it just happened. Without me even needing to be conscious of it. Conversations happened. Without me even trying.
…
Then in your adolescence? When Puberty really hit? You just decided you were Asexual?
Gerard was long gone by then. I didn’t feel “aroused” by anyone. Yeah. I thought I was Asexual.
Until you turned 18, flew to Australia, and you saw me at a Melbourne bookstore.
(Smiling, grinning really big…) (FIRE LOVE-HEART EYES)
…
The trainwreck happened somewhere in adolescence? Tweenie years?
Yes.
I’m not… tapped in enough to know all those details.
No, you’re not. Oh — you’re not THAT psychic?
NO! That’s what I’m saying! I’M NOT PSYCHIC. I can only tap into energies that I’ve known. There’s a whole block, a whole chunk of your history — because it was trainwreck — I have no fucking clue. And you never talked about it. So, I don’t know…
Good. (Wide-eyed… in relief)… You don’t need to know anything. Trainwreck is gone. There’s nothing to tell.
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 