Friend 3: “ONE THOUSAND PERCENT BETTER?! Wow. That’s giving the guy a LOT of credit! Most people would just say, one hundred percent. But a THOUSAND percent?! That’s ten times a hundred!”
Me: “Yeah… he really was that good! Should I tell him?”
Friend 2: “NO. Don’t ever tell the guy! Don’t boost his Ego like that!!! You gotta keep ’em guessing. Don’t ever let him know how much you adore him, he’ll take it for granted!”
(Hindsight — this is really toxic advice)
Friend 3: “A thousand percent, and it was only a kiss. Imagine when he gets you in bed, oh my god, that guy is gonna be a STALLION!!!“
Everybody bursts out laughing. Literally rolling on the floor — the carpet of the living room in that apartment in Carlton — absolute tears and belly laughs.
Friend 2: “Oh please, don’t build it up. She’s going to get disappointed!”
Me: (Now, starting to feel scared and nervous) “Um… what if I’m NOT good in bed with him!? What if…? Ugh, so many things…”
Friend 2: “Don’t overthink it. You always do this. Just enjoy it and have fun.”
Me: “No, like you guys are suddenly making me feel really, really nervous about this.”
Friend 3: “Well, what would make you feel better? Maybe you just need shots. Just settle the nerves a bit.”
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 