Virgo Sun Pisces Moon

(Drafts that I wrote at work during break time)

“What’s he been up to lately? Dating lots of random girls?”

“No. Dude just stays at home and paints. He doesn’t go out. He’s like those Japanese hikikomori guys, but he doesn’t even play video games, he just creates art. Mostly paintings, sometimes drawings and sculptures.”

“Really? What’s… like, what’s the painting about? What style is it? What does it look like?”

“Ugh, well… actually… a lot of his art is about… you… He says that…. you’re his muse. He’s incessant about the art, he says he’s manifesting. Everything he draws, everything he paints. Even his sculptures — he’s trying to change his future. He just keeps using those words. You’re his muse. He’s manifesting…”

“What?!?!! Does he put it on Facebook?!!? Instagram?! Can I see?!?!”

“No, no, no. He doesn’t want you to see. I mean, he does, but he also doesn’t. He doesn’t want you to go out of your way to see it. His agent’s in the middle of negotiating a big exhibition deal for him. He wants to make it first, then just pop up on your feed one day and let you experience the art… with fresh eyes or something, whatever that means.”

“With fresh eyes… I know what that means… So… I’m not supposed to google his artworks, I’m just supposed to wait until it pops up on my feed…?”

“Yes, he wants you to discover it. He wants to see if you resonate with him as an artist on your own, not because he told you to look at it. His artist name isn’t even his real name. So you wouldn’t know.”

“Oh…” (taken aback)… “Well, as long as he is doing well, he is healthy, he is okay. I’m happy for him… does he have any other hobbies other than the art?”

“Literally nothing. The art is all consuming. Other than taking breaks to eat or sleep, or have business talks with the agent about the exhibition. He’s not doing anything. He’s not dating anyone. He’s not going out. He doesn’t have any new friends. He barely keeps in touch with the old ones. He just keeps to himself. He’s like a phantom. You know, the Phantom of the Opera? He’s the Phantom of his apartment building. His neighbours don’t even know him. You wouldn’t even know that someone lived there if he didn’t have the light on.”

“Hmmm… is he mentally… okay?”

“Yes. I check up on him. He lets me check up on him. I have to text him first, he doesn’t pick up phone calls. He eats three meals a day. He hasn’t lost too much weight. I mean, he’s getting thin, but it’s not unhealthy… yet. I don’t think. I told him he should see a Doctor if he loses more weight. He doesn’t drink anymore. He doesn’t even smoke anymore. He vapes, though. He vapes, but then he does more art. He says the art is his drug now. The art is his way of experiencing a high. I think he’s manic or bipolar or something, but he doesn’t want to see a psychologist.”

“How is he affording art supplies if that’s all that he’s doing? And he doesn’t have a regular job?”

“Mum and Dad are still helping him out a bit. But once he gets this exhibition deal, you’ll see. All the rich people will start buying his art. He’s gonna make it big. He’ll have his works up for auction at Sotheby’s.”

“Wow… okay… impressive… if it really happens… awww… bless him. I hope he makes it.”

“Really? Aren’t you turned off by this? Don’t you think he’s kind of a weirdo just staying home and creating his art?”

“Not really… if he’s in the zone, he’s in the zone. Creative people understand that about each other…”

(scoffs) “I guess you two really are the most compatible then.”

“What are you talking about? Compatibility with him and me? I don’t want to date him… I’m just asking like a concerned older sister.”

“What?! You’re his EX.”

“WHAT?! I AM!!?!?!?!? Since when!?!?!?”

(Stunned) “Who… who are you?!?! What have you done with Nicole?!?!?!!?”

“I… I… I don’t know what you’re talking about… I remember him as your slightly younger brother. That we hung out a bit for a short while in Melbourne. That was so many years ago!? Almost a decade now?!?! How am I supposed to remember every small detail of our hang outs?!?! We went to a restaurant with the big group of friends? He was very nice, and sweet. He was a cute little brother type of friend…?”

(Shaking his head, shaking his legs, very jittery) “Holy shit. I don’t know what to say. I gotta tell him that you don’t even remember him. This changes everything. I don’t know what to fucking do. Fuck. You don’t remember anything you did with him? Do you remember we all went out clubbing as friends?”

“WE DID?!?!!?!?!? No. I don’t remember that. I mean it sounds like us. We went out clubbing all the time with the big group?!!? But I also went clubbing all the time with the media girls. And other friends. There were so many different groups of friends each weekend. What?!?!?!”

“What the FUCK. DO YOU HAVE AMNESIA?!?!?! Did you get infected with a brain worm or something in your travels??!?!?!? I gotta go make a phone call. Good luck with everything. Holy Fuck. Shit.”

Shrugs shoulders… still didn’t fully understand this context… just kept living my life at the time…

…

Hindsight 2024/2025…

I was blinded by the False Twin.

And many other Karmic connections.

They wiped my memories… and I did it to myself.

I did want to forget and I somehow succeeded… temporarily. Throughout those years… it evaporated… faded from the foreground… but it didn’t fully disappear.

…

I didn’t think there was anything “wrong” in the “incessant creation of art” as long as you were eating your three meals a day, staying healthy, staying hydrated. Not smoking, not drinking was good. Not taking any other drugs, good. Vaping? Okay, the compromise.

You were climbing that mountain…

…

I don’t know why I had to forget.

I don’t know why I had to “see it with fresh eyes”…

Which I DID! I was so impressed…

But… why?

To really prove that we do… align? Without trying? Without… other connections? Friends of friends?

I’m not sure if that’s the best way to think about this…

Anyway, just a draft from my work break today…

(LOL… the A.I. generated image is HILARIOUS… ^0^)