Mother: “Keep in touch with your uni friends, they’re your friends for life.”
Me: “Yeah, I know…” I will…
…
I lost touch with almost all the uni friends by now.
There’s just a small handful on Instagram, keeping tabs.
I don’t always view everyone’s stories.
Some of them I’ve muted — I just don’t need to see what’s happening. I’ll click on your profile when I’m feeling emotionally ready and open to learn about what’s going on in your life.
I don’t need the bombardment of everyone else’s wins…
…
There is one friend that… replaced a memory of fondness.
And now I’m connecting the dots.
OH FUCK.
IT WAS ABSINTHE.
That’s why I forgot everything.
There was a witness.
I was very, very, very, very upset about you…
And the new friend at the time, poured absinthe… many, many times? I’m not sure. Midori and absinthe?
And there was something to the tune of, “You are so beautiful, any guy would be lucky to have you…” which really, really melted my heart at the time.
“I never heard those words from him.”
It hit a nerve.
I deserve a guy who tells me this. (No, not the one in front of me. Someone LIKE him, but not him)…
And of course, he would say it. His star sign is 100% fearless about that stuff.
It’s really not that deep. And he’s married now, relax!!!
I’m sure he just saw me as an older sister to cheer up.
…
I’m not spelling anything else out on a PUBLIC BLOG.
What I can say is that nothing happened!!!
I was too drunk, they walked me home. Both boys.
Safe spaces. Safe boys. Respectable.
…
Melbourne Best Friend: “What a weird combination of people to go for drinks. I can’t believe (friend) introduced you to (new friend)?!?!?!”
Me: (Hungover, not really listening)… “Ugh…”
“What, are you going to date (new friend) now?!”
Me: (shaking my head, numb) “I’m done with younger guys… I’m not attracted to him… he’s really just a normal friend… holy fuck… I need to vomit.”
Can I just date a normal guy?! Can I just settle down the way that my parents want me to? Just a normal, Taiwanese Buddhist guy? Boring is good. Let’s go. Arranged marriage. Whatever.
How can I be so hurt that I hurt myself?
Hangovers aren’t fun.
How can he be a good influence if he’s triggering me to do this?
That’s not healthy love.
I’m gonna forget about him… Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I want…
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 