Sometimes I take Panadol. Sometimes I take Panamax. I usually buy a box of Panamax, 100 tablets for $3.00 now? (It used to be $2.00!)
When I’m not at work, if I have a heavy period day, I’m at home. And I really try not to take ANY painkillers. (I feel like we’ve talked about this before?)
When I need to go to work — it’s gotta be paracetamol. If I forgot to pack the Panamax, then a quick trip to the nearest grocery shop to buy Panadol… or, if there is a pharmacy then I’ll end up buying a whole other box of 100 Panamax cos it’s so cheap!
No, I don’t take Nurofen… I haven’t tried it… I don’t know if I’m allergic? I’m worried that I might be, but I don’t have any history of having allergic reactions to medications so it’s a bit of an illogical fear…
Today, I’m sitting at home, not taking anything… having some sweet treats… cookies… lollies… soda water…
I don’t know how to describe it. Every month. I don’t know where to begin to try and write about this.
If you think that you have been born with a curse, every woman has been subconsciously conditioned to believe that she was innately born with THE curse — the curse of bearing children! The inevitable suffering and pain of our lives. (Joy, too, eventually…)
But we are like little soldiers, bracing ourselves for the battles of our bodies.
Are you a warrior woman or are you going to go to sleep? And hopefully recover with minimal injuries?
…
I feel like a slob. I feel like a failure of a human being. I feel fat. I feel bloated. I feel ugly.
All I can do today is stay at home and feel sorry for myself.
…
And the blood flows downwards. Down, down, down, let gravity catch this.
…
I know there is someone you don’t like, who once said the dumbest thing about women and their periods…
It’s hilarious, but I can’t type it out. I’ll have to tell you, face to face, one day.
Every time that person celebrates something distinguished on LinkedIn, I remember, “Yeah… but you said that once about women…”
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA………….. ^0^
…
I wanna be babied when I have my period.
“Are you okay, honey?”
“No, I’m not okay. I’m hurting.”
“What can I do?”
“I don’t know… (random thing)”
“Okay, I’ll go do that for you sweety”
“Okay, thank you ^_^”
First three days…
It always starts like this:
1st Day = Light, I’m still generally normal and easygoing.
2nd Day = Heavy. This is the worst. This is me today. I will feel like shit. Even if I took the Panadol cos I had to go to work, when I’m home, I crash. It’s worse. It’s worse to take the painkiller, and then exert myself at work, and then when I get home — my body is done. It’s absolutely, there’s nothing left to give. I need food. I need sleep. I need electrolytes. I need to not talk to anybody.
3rd Day = Heavy/Medium… it should be easier than the 2nd day, but it’s still pretty crappy.
Then I’m pretty much back to normal, it’s just light bleeding for the next 1-2 days…
Day 2 is the big monster. And the night-time… ugh… I don’t think I even want to sleep next to another human body during that time. Get the fuck away from me! (Please don’t take any of this personally!)
So yeah, Night 1 and Night 2 are gonna be pretty bad…
Don’t… try anything… LOL
And, there is a Chinese superstition, don’t wash your hair in those first three days! So I’ll have greasy oily hair. Probably an acne breakout on my face as well… that’s why I feel UGLY. And I feel like SHIT!!!
And then, count another 27 days!
Sometimes 28… depends… Sometimes, it’s been up to 31?
But… these days… It’s been 27-28-ish…
It’s all on the app. I’ve been tracking…
And for what?! For never, ever, ever, EVER having kids?!
No I don’t want any procedures. I’ll just live my life… let my body be…
Maybe I do still hold a glimmer of hope.
Maybe there’ll be an immaculate conception.
Virgo Sun Pisces Moon 